*Paperwork and Potluck

Still no exciting mail, but we have gotten a little more of our paperwork done. We got our "letter of intent" notarized on Friday. This is one of the harder papers required to adopt, as it is a one page letter written by us communicating our desire and reason to adopt, the age and gender we are requesting, and our intentions with our future child. More hinges on our writing papers like these, than ever did before - in school and college it was only for grades, on job applications, it is only for a job, but this is for our child! It adds a little to the stress, but we probably don't have to worry about grammar as much, as it will be translated to Vietnamese.

We had a hard time with this letter too, because I don't feel 100% confident that we should be requesting a healthy infant girl. I've mentioned this before. I talked with our caseworker, and if we are willing to accept some special needs we need to update our home study to say which ones specifically. We also found out that our home study approved us for one or two children birth to 18 months. We thought it was birth to 12 months. So we had to consider if we would be willing to accept a referral of a 13 or even 18 month old child. Our case worker recommended we keep it up to 18 months, and they would take note that we want as young as possible. It may be the case that we will receive a referral that is 9 months old, and have to wait 4 months to travel. Thus the child would be 13 months when we went to get her, and our paperwork would need to say we're approved for us to 18 months. Complex, yes, but she helped me feel good about keeping it at 18 months. She also said we could update our home study later to include special needs if that is what our referral is for (I think.)

Our agency adopts out of three orphanages in the north, and 3 in the south. As I've said before, it costs $3000 more to adopt from the north, but they are healthier, and the wait between referral and travel is way shorter (one month in the north, and 4-7 in the south). So, that $3000 could get us to our child 6 months faster, and allow us to enjoy 6 months more of her life (get her younger). That 4-7 month wait after receiving the picture and information on our child would be pure torture, but if that's where our daughter is, that's what we need to be ready for. The southern orphanages also refer out their children before searching for biological or national adoptive families, so sometimes a referral is given to an American couple, and then the family is found in Vietnam, and the referral is revoked. I'm sure that's also torture, but something we'd have know could happen if our child is in the south.

The other thing we've saved for last is our individual pictures. One of Keith, and one of me, each by ourselves. It's hard to pose for a picture and not make it look too posed, and yet also look like you'd be a good parent (whatever that looks like). So, after church today we quickly snapped some photos, and then Keith was off to a student leadership retreat. Campus ministry is getting busy already, even though most schools don't start classes until the end of the month. The fall is always the busiest time for Crusade staff, so I probably won't see him much the next 3 months. Today was only a half day with Koen to myself, and it was exhausting, even though he was really well-behaved. He has a lot of energy!

Yesterday we got to gather with several other families who have adopted from Vietnam, or are in process and live in the Seattle area. The family that hosted the potluck has two boys from Vietnam, the oldest of which is 9. They started the group, which gets together a couple times a year, soon after they adopted him. We met a family who is at about the same stage we are in the process, and a lady adopting through our agency that is getting her referral tomorrow.

Hard to see, I know, we're in the middle back. Koen has a white hat on.

Through conversation there I learned that several of the families were able to meet the birth parents of their child, and that sometimes the birth parents attend the "Giving and Receiving Ceremony." I didn't even know this was a possibility, and I hope it is so for my child. I think it would be a blessing for her later in life, to at least know a little about them, rather than it be a complete mystery. We also learned that the orphanage food the children in Vietnam receive is usually better nutritionally than orphanages in other countries. Babies are fed formula from France in Vietnam with all the nutrients baby formula in the US has.