The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat

Victory: Nastia wins gold

Defeat: Alicia falls in the team competition

Isn't it great to be an American?!!! I am loving watching the Games, and last night was definitely a high for me. I am a huge gymnastics fan, and loved watching Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson from the US win gold and silver - even though it kept me up til 1 am. And, of course I am enjoying watching the swimming too, and everything else.

However, if I was not an American, it is possible that I would live in a country that is not closing adoptions in Vietnam. I know Canada, and many European countries will continue to adopt from VN after September 1st.

The agony of defeat I am feeling comes from a discouraging but honest email our agency sent out. They notified us of the US State Dept's update, that adoptions WILL close September 1st. It is for sure now, as there is not enough time for a new agreement to be signed. However, that does not mean that it won't be signed in the following months. It's just likely to be a longer process than we would like.

Other bad news is that our agency has only gotten one referral in the last two months, falling way behind their usual 3-4 a month. That means we are likely still around number 16-18 on the waiting list, and won't be moving for quite some time.

I have been in denial about this closure, and am not sure how it will feel knowing that we are making no progress. Please pray for a new agreement to be signed quickly, and for God's guidance in this process.

We're camping this weekend. I'll have pics next week. Thanks

*Agency Update

We received an update from our agency this week with good and mediocre news. The good news is that they received 5 referrals last month - 4 of them girls. That moves us up several places on the waiting list - so we are probably somewhere between 15 and 18th. I'll call next month to get the exact number. The less positive news is that the wait is now 14-15 months for a girl. We passed the 9 month mark on the 1st. If Vietnam stays open, we could receive a referral by Christmas. That would be such an answer to prayer, but I can't let myself dream too much.

Our director returned from his trip to meet with Vietnamese officials. The update stated: "The meetings went well and all parties seemed to be interested in finding a solution so that a new agreement can be reached by September 1, 2008. All parties are working hard towards this goal. ...... we believe that there is still a possibility for a new agreement to be in place by September 1^st, if not sometime shortly there after." I will cling to that possibility. Keep praying!

We learned from our agency that in order for files received prior to July 1, 2008 to be grandfathered in (those without referrals by 9/1 to still be completed), there must be an interim agreement signed between the two countries permitting this process. Rather than a simple request by the Department of State, a signed agreement will be needed, as required by the provincial Ministry of Justice offices in Vietnam. No decision has been made, as an interim agreement is still being negotiated. Praise the Lord that there is still a possibility and negotiations are in progress!

*Sad

Yesterday was just a really sad, gloomy day. I have this passion for orphans growing in me, and yet no way to do anything for them right now. We would love to foster, but only have a 2 bedroom place, and don't know if we will be moving to another state soon. We want to hold our little girl, but have no idea when or even if we will be able to. I want to hug and hold an orphan in Africa and listen to their story, comfort them in the loss of their parents, who likely died of AIDS. And yet, I am here.

It's not bad to be here, really. I'm just getting impatient to figure out what the Lord is going to do with this desire in us.

In desperation, I journaled a prayer asking the Lord to encourage and guide us. A minute later an email arrived from our agency. I thought it must be an answer to my prayer, only to find more discouraging news. I guess the news could have been worse, but essentially, our agency only received 2 referrals last month. That's not all that bad, but if we are going to have a chance to get a referral by September 1st, there needs to be many more than that. So, now we need to really pray that this campaign is effective.

Should we start an adoption in another country? I know I will be so heartbroken if Vietnam doesn't work out, and we have to start all over and wait another couple years through another program. Ughhh.

I need to remind myself of how Big and Good my God is. "All things work for the good of those who love Him." - Romans 8:28.

*No Decisions Yet

I talked to Amy, our adoption coordinator this Monday. She was just checking in to see how we were doing with all the bad news lately. After our conversation I have a little more hope. I learned that Vietnam is scheduled to become Hague accredited in March of 2009. That would mean that even if it closes in September, once they are Hague accredited, any other country that is Hague accredited would be able to adopt from there without any other signed agreements. In order for Vietnam to get Hague accredited, they would have to have a clean system, and I believe all adoptions would have to be the same - have similar financial requirements..... I hope I'm not putting too much hope into this possibility.

Other good news was that our agency received 4 referrals lately - 3 girls, one boy, which moves us up on the waiting list. We are still in the early 20's, but we must be in the earlier early 20's. If our agency continues to receive 3-4 referrals a month which was the trend before the latest issues, we would be somewhere between 8-12 on the list by September 1st. That means that if it closes, we would not be able to complete our adoption. However, if Vietnam reopens in March, we would stay in order on the waiting list, and likely receive our referral within a few months, and travel within a few months - probably next summer.

So, I have hope that with all these issues, it will merely mean we will have to wait a bit longer to hold our little girl. I do believe that the Lord has all this in His good and perfect plan for our lives, and that He will bring us together at the right time. Please pray that our faith would stay strong.

We still wonder if we should start an adoption in another country right now or not- especially if Vietnam never does reopen. Amy said that many other waiting families are pursuing other routes at the same time. One option in Nepal through our agency, but more likely for us is China special needs. Still, I think we will likely wait until September to make any decisions.

We even talk about Africa a bit more - or former Soviet states, but the reality is that it is very costly to do two adoptions at once, and we're not ready to pull out of Vietnam. We have grown accustomed to imagining a little Asian girl as part of our family, and the Lord will have to do some work to change that picture.

With the news that we will likely not receive a referral until at least next spring, we wonder if we should do something adventurous with the next year of our lives. The Lord has sure given us a passion for orphans, and we are researching and contemplating going abroad for a year and helping orphans hands-on while we wait for our second child. Not sure how or if it would work, but we'll see.

*Another Adoption Update

We have had a very full few days. Before I share all the wonderful things we heard about at the conference, I’ll share an adoption update.

After checking email several times a day for a week, we finally got a good explanation/response from our agency. It wasn’t that they weren’t trying to be timely, it’s that they were waiting on a JCICS conference call, and trying to get their facts straight.

Our agency said that the statements about Vietnam are not necessarily fact. There are many ifs in the process. If a new agreement is not resigned in the near future, Vietnam will stop taking dossiers on July 1st, and then if they are not near signing a new agreement when September 1st approaches, they will only process the adoptions of those who have referrals. It is good to hear those ifs. There is still some hope.

Here is another hopeful statement from our agency's update:"We all need to keep in mind that this is a very complex situation with various agendas existing among different parties.... While they may differ in their tactics and words used, all parties wish for adoptions to be done in an ethical, transparent and legal manner. So while it may appear through the AP reports that adoptions in Vietnam are at risk of stopping please know that all parties are willing to start the negotiations on the new agreement."

Our agency also believes that the Summary of Irregularities, is not the norm of Vietnamese adoptions. "This document has been criticized by most people familiar with adoptions in Vietnam, including representatives from other countries that adopt in Vietnam, as it presents a board picture of unethical conduct in Vietnam when, in fact, the alleged conduct is extremely limited to a few provinces and agencies." There are a few agencies, in a few provinces that are behaving questionably. The US Embassy discussed many bold generalities in the Summary and never stated any specific places, people or institutions. We have been told that the US Embassy has been asked to produce factual evidence, so that those at fault can be prosecuted and issues can be cleaned up.

Also, and perhaps most hopeful to us, is that Vietnam has stated they plan to become Hague approved in 2009. If and when they do, an agreement between the US and Vietnam is no longer needed! So, even if we can’t complete our adoption this year, we could potentially still adopt from Vietnam next year.

Some bad news is that Vietnam is giving less referrals to American agencies right now because of the issues. If they come so slowly, we are even less likely to receive a referral in time.

Keith and I have discussed this a little while we’ve been away. We don’t want to complete our adoption if we suspect our agency, their in country staff, the orphanage, officials, or anyone in the province of unethical behavior. It is our hope that the Embassy will release more specific information so that the adoptive parents and children can have peace about their own adoption histories. I don’t want my child learning some day, or even questioning some day weather her birth mother gave her up or not. I want her to know that her mom gave her up out of love, knowing that she wanted a better life for her daughter. (We heard a neat song by Nate Huss, an adoptee, about his birth mom)

At this conference we were wondering if the Lord would guide us in our adoption. Nothing became more clear, but we did become more aware of other options, and I think I am all the more open for special needs.

*Some News, Could be bad?

Below is an email I received today from our agency. They sent it to all their families in the Vietnam program. I'm not sure what to think, but it is leading me to pray more.

"As many of you are already aware, there have been many rumors and speculations circling regarding the current tension between the Vietnamese Authorities and the U.S. Embassy. Following the implementation of the new I-600 initiative Joint Council for Children's Services (JCICS) has called a Vietnam Summit meeting to be held in Washington DC on November 28, 2007 to discuss current matters regarding international adoption in Vietnam. The U.S. Department of State and USICS representatives will also be represented at this meeting. Faith International plans to attend this meeting.

Until this meeting takes place and we are able to gather first hand information, we can not predict what will happen with adoptions from Vietnam. Although we remain confident that international adoptions will prevail, we must be flexible and patient during this process. We do know that the new initiative has brought about tension between the U.S. and the Vietnamese government. The Vietnamese officials are concerned about the new initiative's time frame. Currently with the new initiative, the U.S. Embassy is requiring families to wait up to 60 days after filing their I-600 petition. We are hoping to find resolutions to this issue and others at the JCICS Summit meeting.

There have also been speculation regarding the re-signing of an international contract between the U.S. and the Vietnam. The original contract, signed just prior to the re-opening of Vietnamese adoptions, will expire in March of 2008. We have not yet heard when or how this contract will be renegotiated or re-signed. Once again we are hopeful that the meeting on November 28th will shed some light on this issue. We are asking families to understand that any information that does not come directly from the U.S. Embassy or the Vietnamese government is simply speculation. No one will know how the new I-600 initiative or the re-signing of the contract will play out until we are able to see the process through.

Despite all of this, our Vietnam program remains very active! We have had 12 families travel to bring home their children in the month of October and beginning of November. Five of these families are currently in Hanoi waiting for the last stage of the process to be completed before they can return home. We have also had 6 new referrals since the beginning of October, 4 girls and 2 boys.... We are very hopeful that our Vietnam program will continue to be this active in the following months."

I especially don't like the line "we can not predict what will happen with adoptions from Vietnam." I have not control, and reality is that our agency has no control either. In the past, Vietnam and other countries have closed temporarily or permanently to international adoption. In the recent past it has been Nepal and Guatemala. I am so scared that Vietnam will close before we get our little girl. If so, where do we turn? Our agency doesn't have programs elsewhere that we are interested in. We have to trust the Lord is in control of this, and as our agency recommended, be flexible.

I guess I should focus on the good news - that so many families traveled last month, and that there were 6 new referrals!