Pray for Sydney

Sydney and her family need us to ask our big God to heal her. She was adopted from China and doctors have found a big tumor around her heart, lung and spinal cord. They say doing surgery is too risky. You can read more about her here.

Lord, it's up to you. Please heal this little girl and let her lead a healthy life for your glory.

*An Update With Little News

My heart started to pitter-patter today when I saw an update from our agency, hoping there was good news. I opened it and found very little new info. The news is that our dossiers have been returned by the government, but will stay at our agency's office in Hanoi. And, negotiations will start on October 27th - that's next Monday. This wasn't welcome news, as I thought they had already started. Oh well - at least now I know a for sure date.

Also next Monday, we will meet with our home study social worker to begin working on our update. Our Immigration Approval expires March 6th, and we need to file a new I-171H form by December 6th to keep it active. This requires a home study update, that costs and entails more than we realized. Are we just wasting time and money?

Oh Lord, please open the gates to Vietnam adoptions again, and soon. Let negotiations be fruitful and effective at cleaning up any unethical practices. Also Lord, please open all the orphanages of Vietnam to international adoptions in this process. Provide those children with loving families. Guide us to Liv. Thank you for your faithfulness. Amen.

Praying for a Family in Need

I discovered an amazing Christian family's blog this weekend. The family just returned from China with their newly adopted little girl. Susannah has special needs, most notably a heart defect, that has turned out to be much more severe than expected. She is fighting for her life, and so far is quite unhappy to be with these strange people in a strange land. Please pray for this family. They need a miracle.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Our rough month continues to be rough, but nothing compared to this family's trials. My Mom needed minor surgery again this morning to repair a bone issue from her first surgery. It is over with now, and she should be feeling better soon. Luby, our cat is sick, and to top it off we had a major disappointment yesterday, and then another one. We can't share about it now, but we are discouraged.

Yet, I have been learning through the Bible study at my church, how to listen to the Lord's voice. I am enjoying spending more intimate time with Him, but still awaiting some guidance and answers. This disapointment may have been part of God's leading, but we are not sure, and are asking for confirmation.

Request

Just a quick prayer request for my mom (Carol) who is going in for surgery this afternoon to remove the quickly-growing spot of cancer on her gum. Please pray for peace and that the doctors would be able to remove all the cancer without harming the nerves in the area.

We also get refingerprinted this morning. Yipee!

Thanks so much!

*CLOSED

We have been dreading this day for a long time, but inevitably, it has arrived. The MOU expired today, meaning that adoptions between the US and Vietnam have ceased. We pray this is a short closure, but have no idea what to expect. Our agency seems more optimistic than others I have heard from. Do we move on? Today also marks 11 months since we were DTV. 11 months, and now our dossier is coming back to the US to sit here.

I think I'm mostly in denial, but now and then some self-pity sneaks in. I'm ready for my child to come home, but God must know better. I have to trust He has a better plan.

I have been praying for a referral by Christmas. That is highly unlikely now, but still possible. I'm not sure if I should keep praying and hoping for that or not. It would be too good to be true.

To add to the bad news, we found out my mom has a spot of cancer on her gums. She has had to wait a whole week since finding out before meeting with the surgeon, and in that time it has grown quite a bit. Please pray for healing, and peace.

My sister also hasn't been doing well. She has severe anorexia and has gone downhill in the last month. She's currently in the hospital, but should be released soon. Please pray for victory in her battle, and healing for her body.

Sorry to be such a downer. I hope you are having a better Labor day than we are.

*2 Moms

A friend sent this poem about the two mothers an adopted child knows:

ADOPTION

Once there were two women
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember
the other you call Mother.
One became your guiding star,
the other became your sun.
The first gave you life
and the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you a need for love
and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of a talent
the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
the other dried your tears.
One gave you up-
it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old questions through the years,
Heredity or Environment-
which are you the product of?
Neither my darling- neither
just two different kinds of love.
-anonymous

I will never fully understand what Liv will feel when she thinks about her birth mother. Will she feel love and appreciation for the opportunity her birth mother gave her? Will she feel confusion? Bitterness? Anger? Will she feel abandoned? Will she have empathy for her birth mother, knowing the hard life she faced, the lack of money to provide for this little one she obviously loved?

Lord, help me create a secure, loving, gracious environment for Liv to grow up in - knowing she is valuable and loved no matter what she does, knowing we will never leave her. Help us have a close relationship where she feel comfortable to share her struggles. Help me know how to respond and encourage.


Liv got some new clothes at last week's 25 cent sale. Even if some of these are too small for her, we can donate them to the orphanage for other children to enjoy.

*Sad

Yesterday was just a really sad, gloomy day. I have this passion for orphans growing in me, and yet no way to do anything for them right now. We would love to foster, but only have a 2 bedroom place, and don't know if we will be moving to another state soon. We want to hold our little girl, but have no idea when or even if we will be able to. I want to hug and hold an orphan in Africa and listen to their story, comfort them in the loss of their parents, who likely died of AIDS. And yet, I am here.

It's not bad to be here, really. I'm just getting impatient to figure out what the Lord is going to do with this desire in us.

In desperation, I journaled a prayer asking the Lord to encourage and guide us. A minute later an email arrived from our agency. I thought it must be an answer to my prayer, only to find more discouraging news. I guess the news could have been worse, but essentially, our agency only received 2 referrals last month. That's not all that bad, but if we are going to have a chance to get a referral by September 1st, there needs to be many more than that. So, now we need to really pray that this campaign is effective.

Should we start an adoption in another country? I know I will be so heartbroken if Vietnam doesn't work out, and we have to start all over and wait another couple years through another program. Ughhh.

I need to remind myself of how Big and Good my God is. "All things work for the good of those who love Him." - Romans 8:28.

*I Finally Called

More pictures are on Ethica's website

I scared myself by reading adoption info on the internet. I do that every now and then because I don't fully understand the process or who is who... So, after receiving an email from a fellow PAP (prospective adoptive parent) with some concerning news, I called our agency this morning. I've been putting off calling for an update as long as I can, as I know it is something that I will quickly get addicted to doing.

It was really good to talk with our program director. She is honest and well-informed. But, that doesn't mean the news was all positive. The MOU will not be resigned. That is the agreement between the VN and US governments allowing adoption. It expires Sept 1st of this year. The US will not resign it because VN has not met some of the requirements, including a fee schedule to make all adoptions the same (and attempt to eliminate baby buying) and more government oversite of each province. Resigning it would require that Vietnam totally restructure how they work provincially, meaning provinces would have to give up control to the country government, which is quite unlikely, especially in such a short amount of time. Apparently other Europpean countries have no issues with the way it works now, so at least if the US isn't able to adopt from Vietnam anymore, some children will still find homes.

Vietnam isn't super thrilled with the US Embassy right now either. With the change of the I-600 process, the US stated that the wait period for approval would be up to 60 days. Vietnamese law said it had to happen within 30 days. So, VN changed their law to be 60 days, and now the Embassy is taking far more than 60 days in most cases (because they are backlogged and understaffed). That has offended VN officials. Also, when the Embassy investigates adoptions, they are showing up unannounced to the orphanages, and in unmarked vehicles. They probably have reason for doing so, but this has also offended VN officials, making it harder to negotiate and come to an agreement so that adoptions can continue. I am glad the US has high standards and making an effort to improve the ethics of VN adoptions, but it is making it harder on us PAPs. It shouldn't be about us though. It should be about the children.

Our agency only had one referral last month, and none so far this month. The director said it has been very slow, and it is probably partially because of the big Tet holiday last month, and because of the current US/VN relations. When the Director of our agency, John, was in VN last month, he was told several referrals were on their way. We'll see. We have been waiting 5.5 months, and have gone from number 39 to the early 20's.

The waiting list isn't that informative though, because some of those on the list are requesting boys, and some are requesting girls, while some are eithers. But, we still have a long wait ahead of us.

Some families in our agency are have also signed on with their Nepal program (which has been closed but should reopen any day now), meaning they are doing concurrent adoptions. These families hope to adopt 2 children, one from Nepal, and one from VN, but in case VN closes, they will still have one adoption to be waiting on. The thought has crossed our minds to do this, but likely with a different country. But, our hearts are set on Vietnam, and our current plan is to wait several years after we get Liv, and adopt an older and perhaps special needs child. Or maybe to do foster care and adopt out of it. We'll see.

I also learned today that it is the orphanage officials that give the referrals to the agencies of their choice. Once the agency gives that referral to a family and the family accepts it, a letter of acceptance is sent to the VN government, and that is when they know who is matched with who. So, it is important that agencies maintain good relations with orphanages, and often do this by aiding (charitably) them. I know our agency is helping a little boy get much needed surgery to remove a huge facial tumor, has helped install several water purifiers, and is helping remodel a building into a new orphanage. I know it is not their motive to get more referrals by doing so. They have always helped the Vietnamese orphans, even while the country was closed before.

I suppose the conclusion of what I learned today is that things are looking hopeful that adoptions would be completed for people like us who have their Dossiers in Vietnam by the date it closes, but it is also looking likely that VN will close to US adoptions for at least a short time. The JCICS (Joint Council on International Children's Services) has vowed to fight for VN/US adoptions, and that will be helpful. We just need to pray hard. Please join us in praying that God would unite orphans with their loving families soon.

For other PAPs out there, please don't read what I write as fact. I don't totally understand everything in this US/VN adoption world, but this is my take on what our agency told me.

*Our First Tet

Happy Tet everyone! Today is the first day of Tet, the Vietnamese New Year, and the most important holiday in Vietnam. Most Vietnamese celebrate with family and go to temple. They also use fireworks to celebrate. Today ushers in the year of the Rat. This year is considered a special year, occurring only once in about 600 years, that is considered a very lucky year to be born. For that reason it is expected that the birth rate will go up in the country, that is already overcrowded and can't provide for it's children. I read today that Vietnam has a very, very high abortion rate. The government is hoping to promote "family planning" to help with the problem, but it is not likely to be effective this year.

Maybe Liv will be born in this "lucky" year. I don't believe in luck, and I hope that isn't why her mother gets pregnant. But, maybe it will also reduce the abortion rate. They're are lots of people here wanting to adopt those extra babies!

It's interesting that for the first time, I can kind of imagine what Liv's birth mom might be doing today. She is celebrating what is likely her favorite holiday, with those she loves.

Lord, please watch of Liv's mother. Help her to make wise decisions in how she takes care of her body. Provide the nutrition and emotional support she needs. Draw her heart to you, and assure her that her child will be very, very loved. Thank you.

Doesn't he look like a "Who?" (Keith playing with a camera lense)

Koen, pretending he's "in car", using tuperware for a steering wheel.

Why not?

I'm feeling a little down tonight about all this. I checked to see if I could find more info on Baby Sinh, who I mentioned a while back, and can't find any. I want her to know she is loved. I also have been thinking about all the kids in Vietnam who live in orphanages that are not licensed to adopt internationally. I don't know why that is, but it is so heart-breaking. Tons of families are waiting in line to adopt children from a few orphanages, and all the true orphans are likely to get adopted from those, but there are others who will never even have the hope of adoption. For more, see adoptionbuzz.org (where I got these pics).

Lord, please change this, and open those orphanages to adoption. Love on those children. Give them hope and a future. Be with Baby Sinh, and take away any pain she may feel. Please show me how to help, and guide us to our child. Thank you. Amen.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

*A Hiccup?

The question is, is this a hiccup, a huge obstacle, or a deadend?

There is negative news on the Vietnam adoption front this week. On Friday our agency sent out a letter detailing a meeting that had occurred that day with the State Dept, USCIS, government officials, and US adoption agencies. Our agency prepared us for the announcement that came out today for prospective adoptive families from Vietnam. In the announcement, the Dept of State warns that adoptions between the US and Vietnam may end in September when the MOU expires. Here is some of the announcement:

“The Department of State warns potential adoptive parents and adoption service providers of the risk of initiating new adoptions from Vietnam at this time. The 2005 Memorandum of Agreement, required by Vietnamese law to authorize adoptions between the United States and Vietnam, expires on September 1, 2008. The United States is strongly committed to continuing intercountry adoptions from Vietnam if possible. Our primary concern is to ensure that the children and families involved in the adoption process are protected from exploitation. The Government of Vietnam shares this concern. Both countries acknowledge that more needs to be done.”

Apparently Vietnam hasn’t met the requirement from the 2005 MOU that is currently in effect. They haven’t provided a fee schedule, and there is not enough regulation of individual provinces in the adoption process. They say that they are working hard to sign another MOU (which is required by the Vietnamese Government, not ours), but they can’t guarantee that it will happen.

So, the immediate question in our minds is what happens to us and others like us who have their paperwork into Vietnam far before the expiration, but do not yet have referrals or haven’t yet completed the process and picked up their children? Will we have to wait years as people have done when the country was closed in 2004 and 2005? Or, will they complete the adoptions of all whose Dossiers are in before the expiration in September?

The adoption buzz guy, who I consider knowledgeable and trustworthy as far as I know, is optimistic that the Vietnamese government would finish out such adoptions. But, nobody is giving us PAPs (prospective adoptive parents) the promise and assurance we want. I am glad they are being truthful and not just telling us what we want to hear.

This is interesting though, because this news comes just as I was questioning our adoption. I do feel like I am in a long line to adopt a healthy infant girl from Vietnam (because I am), and that if we weren’t in the line, someone else would be. We aren’t adopting a child that won’t be adopted if we weren’t there (did you follow that?:) I do feel called to adopt orphans that need me. But, maybe the issue is not that our daughter would have a parent regardless, but that she is our daughter. We just need guidance and assurance that Vietnam is where our daughter is.

Lord, please protect the Vietnam adoption process. Help the US and Vietnamese officials come to an agreement that is most beneficial to the children of Vietnam. And please guide us to our child. Use us to love those you love. Complete our family and give us peace and patience in the process. Thank you for being in control and a Father to the Fatherless. Amen

Baby Sinh

After our first meeting with our agency, I sent an email to the director to thank him for his time. He sent a reply and asked for prayers for a little baby girl named Sinh that was being flown to Singapore (if I remember correctly) for heart surgery (she has a large hole in her enlarged heart). I let him know I would pray. This was back in May.

Last month I found another blogger going through our agency that was more familiar with Sinh's story, and reminded me to pray. Apparently back in May, they were trying to find an American doctor who would perform the risky surgery. After several months, they could not. And during this time her heart was deteriorating. She would die without the surgery, and she would also likely die with it. I contacted my agency to find out more info, and they told me that because no American doctors would do the surgery, she would get it in Vietnam.

Just today I read on the other person's blog that the Vietnamese doctors also decided that she wouldn't make it through the surgery. She said that Baby Sinh (her name means "life") is not going to make it. "She is left to live out her remaining days with good care."
Baby Sinh in the Singapore hospital. She is often too tired to even smile.

Baby Sinh
As I read I was suprised at how sad I felt, hopeless. It is heartbreaking that this little girl never knew the love of a mother. Thankfully she does have a nanny or two that spends consistent time with her, and I'm sure love her, and our agency has done their best to help save her. But, it's sad when all their work, the love of the nannies, and the prayer of many don't bring her a better life.

As far as I know, Sinh is still alive, and it's not too late to pray. Maybe God does have a miracle in store. If you read this, please pray a quick prayer for Sinh's healing - on earth or in Heaven. Thanks.