*What a Difference a Year Hasn't Made

That's a downer of a title, isn't it?

Today is ONE YEAR since our Dossier went to Vietnam and we started our official wait for Liv. We are in a far different place than we thought we would be a year ago. We've only made it about half way up the waiting list, and now, of course, adoptions have come to a halt. We are unsure if Liv is even Liv (Love in Vietnam), or if she is somewhere else.

We have made a few minor efforts this last month to pursue other routes, but the Lord has not allowed us to move forward, and had not guided elsewhere. So, as long as we continue to seek Him and do not hear from Him, we must stay put.

We had another very discouraging thing happen this last weekend, which we will share with you down the road. Our hearts hurt and we wonder what God is doing. I like to make sense of things that happen, but I suppose my mind is too finite for our omniscient, omnipotent God.

What does one do to mark this anniversary? I blog.

I am asking the Lord to make this month, October, a better month for us - to bring good news, and hope.

Praying for a Family in Need

I discovered an amazing Christian family's blog this weekend. The family just returned from China with their newly adopted little girl. Susannah has special needs, most notably a heart defect, that has turned out to be much more severe than expected. She is fighting for her life, and so far is quite unhappy to be with these strange people in a strange land. Please pray for this family. They need a miracle.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Our rough month continues to be rough, but nothing compared to this family's trials. My Mom needed minor surgery again this morning to repair a bone issue from her first surgery. It is over with now, and she should be feeling better soon. Luby, our cat is sick, and to top it off we had a major disappointment yesterday, and then another one. We can't share about it now, but we are discouraged.

Yet, I have been learning through the Bible study at my church, how to listen to the Lord's voice. I am enjoying spending more intimate time with Him, but still awaiting some guidance and answers. This disapointment may have been part of God's leading, but we are not sure, and are asking for confirmation.

*Sad

Yesterday was just a really sad, gloomy day. I have this passion for orphans growing in me, and yet no way to do anything for them right now. We would love to foster, but only have a 2 bedroom place, and don't know if we will be moving to another state soon. We want to hold our little girl, but have no idea when or even if we will be able to. I want to hug and hold an orphan in Africa and listen to their story, comfort them in the loss of their parents, who likely died of AIDS. And yet, I am here.

It's not bad to be here, really. I'm just getting impatient to figure out what the Lord is going to do with this desire in us.

In desperation, I journaled a prayer asking the Lord to encourage and guide us. A minute later an email arrived from our agency. I thought it must be an answer to my prayer, only to find more discouraging news. I guess the news could have been worse, but essentially, our agency only received 2 referrals last month. That's not all that bad, but if we are going to have a chance to get a referral by September 1st, there needs to be many more than that. So, now we need to really pray that this campaign is effective.

Should we start an adoption in another country? I know I will be so heartbroken if Vietnam doesn't work out, and we have to start all over and wait another couple years through another program. Ughhh.

I need to remind myself of how Big and Good my God is. "All things work for the good of those who love Him." - Romans 8:28.