*6 Months Down

As of yesterday, April 1st, we have been DTV (dossier to Vietnam) 6 months. We've been in the adoption process for more than 11 months. Most people have babies in their arms by now. Or, I should at least by in my third trimester by now, but we likely many many more months to go before we'll get to hold our child. It's getting a little harder, but I am so thankful the Lord has made the wait bearable so far.

I heard through the grape vine that our agency received 3 referrals recently, but they all tested positive HIV. I know that is a reality, but it is truly a terrible one. They will be retested in a couple months, and if it is positive again, they are destined to grow and die in the orphanage system. I hurt for that child, an innocent baby who has a deadly disease and will likely be shunned and forgotten because of her parents actions.

It got us talking though, and we're realizing we know very little about how HIV can work in a newborn baby who gets it from his or her parents. If a newborn tests positive and then tests negative at 3 months, is she essentially a healthy baby with no risk of the virus remaining in her body? How does that original presence of the virus affect her?

Today we went to the zoo with our neighbors who are on spring break. I thought Koen would enjoy it more than he did. He is definitely wanting to do more things independently, and did not like having to be in his stroller, and would not cooperate well when out of his stroller. He enjoyed seeing some of the animals he could see well, but many were far away and not moving so I don't think he even saw them. We'll have to go back soon though, because I bought us a membership!Koen (in front) with his buddies

Happy Easter

So, in a rare and rather bold move on my part, I (Keith) am taking the helm for the "Easter Edition" of our blog. If I get much fan mail, I will consider furthering my blogging career.

It was great fun this year now that Koen is old enough to take part in the many strange Easter traditions we oddly embrace here. We started Easter off at our Church and had lunch with Grammi at a local Cafe, one of the few restaurants I have ever been at that actually serve Liver and Onions. In an excellent move on the Cafe's part, I was over-joyed to see that Liver and Onions were no longer offered (which made Grammi rather sad as this fine dish is one of her stand in favorites).


Yesterday I got home to find Koen in the kitchen with Mom dying eggs. He was so proud, wearing his huge plastic apron, standing on his stool watching the eggs that he put in the colored water soak. He was able to enjoy the fruit of his labors today for a snack.

(don't worry, we took the shell off for him)

He is still a bit too young to grasp the reason for this holiday that we strangely celebrate with colored eggs and rabbits, but we pray that its significance will make an eternal impact in his life. Here is an awesome article if you desire to read a bit more on the Resurrection (I'll give you a little preview):

BODY COUNT:
Is there evidence Jesus was resurrected?

Atheist Bertrand Russell wrote in 1925, “I believe that when I die I shall rot, and nothing of my own ego will survive.”¹ Well, that’s cheerful. Russell clearly bordered on the morose, but we’ve all wondered, with perhaps more optimism, what will happen to us when we die.

If life after death is not an option, then Russell is right; our bodies will rot and nothing else of us will survive. No consciousness. No happiness. No hope. And, several decades of existentialist window dressing aside, what that really means is an accidental world with no ultimate meaning.

What makes Jesus unique among religious leaders and among great leaders in general, is his relationship with death. Leaders have met with all manner of untimely deaths—assassination, self-inflicted death, accidental death before the world was ready for them to go. But death sought and found them nonetheless. What is not unique about Jesus is that his enemies killed him; what is unprecedented, if the Gospels are to be believed, is that he foretold how and when it would happen and resigned himself to it (actually chose it), stating that death had no power over him. ...read more here...

Right before bed we enjoyed a little cupcake eating entertainment from our little goof-ball.


Hope you all had an awesome Easter!

Counting in Years

Koen at Easter last year (just shy of 1)

As of yesterday, our baby boy is 23 months old. Once he's 2, is it time to start counting in years? I can't believe he's getting so big. As I was washing his hands in the kitchen sink today, I saw his warped reflection in the faucet. It made his face look rounder, and I remember giving him a bath in his baby tub in the sink, and watching him discover the faucet. So much change, so quickly!

Bathing in the sink (6 mo)

Here is Koen at our church Easter egg hunt last weekend. He had a fun time, and was understanding the concept of picking up the eggs and putting them in his bag. We don't allow him to eat candy yet, so Mama and Papa got to enjoy the sweets of his labor. But, he does enjoy playing with the plastic eggs.

Loving his new Easter bunny from Gramma.

Have a blessed Easter. HE IS RISEN INDEED!

*I Finally Called

More pictures are on Ethica's website

I scared myself by reading adoption info on the internet. I do that every now and then because I don't fully understand the process or who is who... So, after receiving an email from a fellow PAP (prospective adoptive parent) with some concerning news, I called our agency this morning. I've been putting off calling for an update as long as I can, as I know it is something that I will quickly get addicted to doing.

It was really good to talk with our program director. She is honest and well-informed. But, that doesn't mean the news was all positive. The MOU will not be resigned. That is the agreement between the VN and US governments allowing adoption. It expires Sept 1st of this year. The US will not resign it because VN has not met some of the requirements, including a fee schedule to make all adoptions the same (and attempt to eliminate baby buying) and more government oversite of each province. Resigning it would require that Vietnam totally restructure how they work provincially, meaning provinces would have to give up control to the country government, which is quite unlikely, especially in such a short amount of time. Apparently other Europpean countries have no issues with the way it works now, so at least if the US isn't able to adopt from Vietnam anymore, some children will still find homes.

Vietnam isn't super thrilled with the US Embassy right now either. With the change of the I-600 process, the US stated that the wait period for approval would be up to 60 days. Vietnamese law said it had to happen within 30 days. So, VN changed their law to be 60 days, and now the Embassy is taking far more than 60 days in most cases (because they are backlogged and understaffed). That has offended VN officials. Also, when the Embassy investigates adoptions, they are showing up unannounced to the orphanages, and in unmarked vehicles. They probably have reason for doing so, but this has also offended VN officials, making it harder to negotiate and come to an agreement so that adoptions can continue. I am glad the US has high standards and making an effort to improve the ethics of VN adoptions, but it is making it harder on us PAPs. It shouldn't be about us though. It should be about the children.

Our agency only had one referral last month, and none so far this month. The director said it has been very slow, and it is probably partially because of the big Tet holiday last month, and because of the current US/VN relations. When the Director of our agency, John, was in VN last month, he was told several referrals were on their way. We'll see. We have been waiting 5.5 months, and have gone from number 39 to the early 20's.

The waiting list isn't that informative though, because some of those on the list are requesting boys, and some are requesting girls, while some are eithers. But, we still have a long wait ahead of us.

Some families in our agency are have also signed on with their Nepal program (which has been closed but should reopen any day now), meaning they are doing concurrent adoptions. These families hope to adopt 2 children, one from Nepal, and one from VN, but in case VN closes, they will still have one adoption to be waiting on. The thought has crossed our minds to do this, but likely with a different country. But, our hearts are set on Vietnam, and our current plan is to wait several years after we get Liv, and adopt an older and perhaps special needs child. Or maybe to do foster care and adopt out of it. We'll see.

I also learned today that it is the orphanage officials that give the referrals to the agencies of their choice. Once the agency gives that referral to a family and the family accepts it, a letter of acceptance is sent to the VN government, and that is when they know who is matched with who. So, it is important that agencies maintain good relations with orphanages, and often do this by aiding (charitably) them. I know our agency is helping a little boy get much needed surgery to remove a huge facial tumor, has helped install several water purifiers, and is helping remodel a building into a new orphanage. I know it is not their motive to get more referrals by doing so. They have always helped the Vietnamese orphans, even while the country was closed before.

I suppose the conclusion of what I learned today is that things are looking hopeful that adoptions would be completed for people like us who have their Dossiers in Vietnam by the date it closes, but it is also looking likely that VN will close to US adoptions for at least a short time. The JCICS (Joint Council on International Children's Services) has vowed to fight for VN/US adoptions, and that will be helpful. We just need to pray hard. Please join us in praying that God would unite orphans with their loving families soon.

For other PAPs out there, please don't read what I write as fact. I don't totally understand everything in this US/VN adoption world, but this is my take on what our agency told me.

*Is No News Good News?

Sorry about the long break in blogging. I think it's easier to wait when I don't have to type that there's been "no news" daily. Well, here it is: there's been no adoption news. I am tired of saying that, but I am also thankful that people ask and care. I just like to have positive news to deliver.

For the first time, I cried over Liv. Thursday was a rough one for Keith and I in several ways, and as we prayed late that night when we were finally on our way to bed, I couldn't hold back the tears. I think I've been protecting my heart more than I realized by not dwelling on the wait so much, or not letting myself imagine having her home too much. But, the longing and the hurt is there, and working its way to the surface.

I do long for Liv more each month. I am not complete without her. It is hard to explain. She is a part of me, as much as Keith and Koen are. Well, maybe not as much, but definitely a part and a growing part.

We've been DTV 5 and a half months now, and I know there is still a tremendously long road ahead. Please pray for us as we wait. Pray that God will clearly guide us to Liv, and that He will protect her. I am so thankful that He is a Father of the fatherless, and a Defender of the weak.

On a more positive note, Koen participated in his first Easter egg hunt yesterday at church. He enjoyed himself, even though mom won't let him eat all the chocolate from inside those eggs. He's talking even more. There's nothing I can think of he can't say now - except Hummahummanukanukaapuahah (not sure how to spell that) that we were trying this morning. He says "I love you" and can count to ten. He's also learning to sing his ABCs, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We started potty time this week- just to get him used to sitting on the potty- and he actually went peepee in it on Wednesday! He had no idea it came out of him, but we were so proud. We rewarded him with a little animal cracker, which he promptly through in the potty. He's funny. I'm ready for him to be a big brother. Thanks for letting me brag on my little boy.

My Valentines

I love my two special Valentines. Keith has been my Valentine officially now for 7 years, and Koen for 2. I love you two. You bring me so much joy!

Following the adoption time frame I've set in my mind as likely, I expect to at least have a picture of Liv by Valentine's Day next year. It depends on where she is in Vietnam, on how long after our referral we'll have to wait for her. That's the part I dread the most.

Congratulations to Heather and Ryan who finally got to hold their daughter Elia this week. You can follow their blog at tovietnam.blogspot.com. They took lots of pictures of other children from Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City, an orphanage where our child may live (our agency works with Tam Binh). I wonder if she is there right now?

Koen helped make and decorate cookies today, as well as put stickers on valentine cards for friends and family. It's fun to be able to do some crafty things with him, and he really enjoys it.

First cupcake, personally decorated.

*Our First Tet

Happy Tet everyone! Today is the first day of Tet, the Vietnamese New Year, and the most important holiday in Vietnam. Most Vietnamese celebrate with family and go to temple. They also use fireworks to celebrate. Today ushers in the year of the Rat. This year is considered a special year, occurring only once in about 600 years, that is considered a very lucky year to be born. For that reason it is expected that the birth rate will go up in the country, that is already overcrowded and can't provide for it's children. I read today that Vietnam has a very, very high abortion rate. The government is hoping to promote "family planning" to help with the problem, but it is not likely to be effective this year.

Maybe Liv will be born in this "lucky" year. I don't believe in luck, and I hope that isn't why her mother gets pregnant. But, maybe it will also reduce the abortion rate. They're are lots of people here wanting to adopt those extra babies!

It's interesting that for the first time, I can kind of imagine what Liv's birth mom might be doing today. She is celebrating what is likely her favorite holiday, with those she loves.

Lord, please watch of Liv's mother. Help her to make wise decisions in how she takes care of her body. Provide the nutrition and emotional support she needs. Draw her heart to you, and assure her that her child will be very, very loved. Thank you.

Doesn't he look like a "Who?" (Keith playing with a camera lense)

Koen, pretending he's "in car", using tuperware for a steering wheel.