The Longings of a Mother

Today is one of those days where I just long for Liv. I woke up thinking of her, and haven't been able to forget.

There have been many times lately where I wonder if we will always be a family of 3. I have started to picture Koen as an only child. Not that this would be bad, but it is not what I desire or have imagined for my family. My heart wants to mother more children - especially those who have been abandoned by their birth family.

Why are there so many orphans in the world longing for a mommy, while a mommy sits in her cozy little home in WA state longing to love them? Why is it so hard to get to them? I am tired of learning whatever God has for me to learn during this wait.

I believe my desire is from the Lord, so we continue to wait for our adoption to be completed. We pray daily for Vietnam to reopen. We pray that God will guide us to our children, wherever they are.

Would the Lord give me this desire and then have it go unmet?

I need to feel like we are making progress, yet no news comes.

Just talked with my Mom, and the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes in her neck. She will have surgery again next week and then start radiation soon after. I thought we were through the worst of this, but apparently not.

Lord, we need good news. Please bring it quickly.