I feel tortured right now because we left Koen with family for two days while we started our conference an hour away. Keith drove to pick him up this morning while I was in a meeting, and I expected them to be in our hotel room when I finished. I was so excited, and now so disappointed. To top it off, I couldn't even get a hold of Keith on his cell to know where they were. I got my jacket on to go down to the lobby in hopes they were there, but my mother-in-law called and apparently Keith had yet to meet her, meaning, he is still pretty far away. I am bummed.
I wonder if this is what it will feel like when we get our referral. I want so badly to see and hold Koen, but I am stuck in this hotel room and can't get to him. It's totally going to stink!!!
So, on a happier note, Christmas was enjoyable. We got totally spoiled, a little too spoiled perhaps. Koen unwrapped his presents, along with some other people's gifts. He made it through two church services - not perfectly, but happily enough. We even had snow on Christmas day. The drive south on Christmas day was a little rough because of the snow, and it made for a very long day, but we survived. I'm not sure how many double Christmases we can handle in the future. We want so badly to just stay at home and relax and start a few of our own traditions. We could invite our familys, but we have so little space. So, we will likely; continue in what we've done, and end up totally exhausted after 3 days.
As we drove on Christmas day we read chapter two from Philip Yancy's The Jesus I Never Knew. I discovered this eye-opening chapter about the birth of Christ a few years ago and have made it my goal to read it on or before Christmas every year. What Yancy writes is good at giving some perspective to the real Christmas in the midst of a world that makes it about materialism, santa, a dream world.... The reality is that the two realms of existence : the eternal Heaven where God is, and earth where man is collided at this one point in time, and made a way for the salvation of man. Mary was a virgin who experienced the shame of a growing belly while being unwed - something that women of her time were stoned for!
Anyway, it's good to read, and really made us talk all the more about trying to avoid the Christmas the world offers next year, with santa, and reindeer, and all of the things that satan has used to distract us from Jesus. I'm not exactly sure how we'll do that, and I don't want to deprive our children of certain joys, but there is a balanced that we hope to find. IF you are reading this and totally understand, I would love to hear your ideas on some family traditions you have to focus on Christ during Christmas.
So, my parents' birthdays are both a few days before Christmas and while we were celebrating, Koen started saying "Happy Doo!" We think he is trying to say happy birthday, as he knew who he was supposed to say it to. I was kind of fun to then tell that we were celebrating the birth of baby Jesus too. He was saying "Happy Doo" on Christmas too. He's fun.
Today is our 6th wedding anniversary. Like every year, our special day is in the middle of this annual conference we are required to attend. So, the most we usually do is go out to dinner, and maybe a movie. But, our favorite thing is to get away. Two days before Christmas Keith surprised me with an Amazing Race style get away to a lake house about 1.5 hours away from home. We had a very nice stay, enjoying the quiet, the view, games (especially xbox's Dance Dance Revolution!) and time together without kids. Thanks Keith and happy anniversary!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Longing
Thursday, December 27, 2007
*Christmas for Liv
Liv got spoiled this Christmas too. Below is a picture of a blanket my mom (Grammi) knitted for her granddaughter, and aunt Laurie (a dog lover) got this little 24 month size outfit for her. So fun! She definitely was not forgotten this Christmas. I believe she is in a womb right now - very much alive, and prayerfully, thriving.
Koen (20 months) and his cousin Seth (almost 2) had fun together at Gramma's house in Oregon. Here they are enjoying a bath together.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Lots of Gifts
We were so totally spoiled this Christmas. Here are some pictures from our four Christmas celebrations:
Helping wrap presents
Koen with Great- Grammi
Christmas Eve at Grammi's
Christmas Day morning at home.
Christmas Day Evening at Gramma's in OregonKoen and his cousin Seth
Me getting more than I deserve: a very nice new sewing machine!
Keith getting more than he deserves: his sister's professional digital camera!"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas Happenings
Koen is having fun playing in the sink right now. He loves his step-stools and carries them all over the house. I’m kind of regretting offering him this freedom.
Once again we have gotten caught up in the busyness of the season. I really want to slow down and spend a good amount of time pondering the amazing Gift that God sent to earth about 2000 years ago. This is the time of year that I battle materialism more than any other time. Money has been super tight, but I love to give. We’ve had to cut back in gifts, and get a little creative, which isn’t my forte. And, creativity takes time. I feel like Koen needs more and more of my time. By the time he goes to bed I am exhausted, but can actually get a few things done. Then I’m up late being productive and don’t get enough sleep! I’ve got some kind of nasty cold – the kind that makes you light-headed and so weary. Koen’s a little stuffed up, but nothing major. Keith is still sleeping a little weird from his trip.
Our Christmas plans include a candle light service at my Mom’s church Sunday evening, then celebrating with my family at my Mom’s on Christmas Eve. That evening we will attend Keith and I’s church for another candlelight service. We usually open gifts late into the night, so we will likely sleep in on the 25th. We’ll have a few quiet hours to ourselves Christmas morning. In the afternoon we will go to my aunt’s house to see my dad’s side of the family for an hour or so, and then head south to be with Keith’s family in the evening. I hope that by this time next year we will have more family traditions of our own – to really take the focus off of receiving, and onto Jesus as Koen becomes more aware.
On the 27th, we have our annual Campus Crusade winter conference in Portland where about 700 students from around the northwest will come to learn and fellowship. Keith has a big role in the conference, being in charge of housing for all the students and staff. He will be busy. The 29th is our 6th wedding anniversary. We don’t usually get to do anything real big because of the conference, but we’ll see. We’ll leave Koen with my mother-in-law 2-3 nights, and then have him join us at the conference through the 1st, when we will finally head home and hope to regain some normality.
Koen in his outfit Papa brought back from AsiaSaturday, December 15, 2007
He's Back
Hallelujah, Keith is home! I am so thankful the Lord kept him safe and healthy, and helped Koen and I get through our time without him. He had a good trip and brought home some cute clothes for Koen and Liv. Keith saw a lot while he was there, but didn't get to visit an orphanage like he had hoped. Apparently the government in this country seemingly slowing down or removing non-governmental organizations that provide foreign aid to their orphanages. Sad.
It's really good to have him home. I just wish there could be more down time with him though. He's got all kinds of things to do, and we just discovered some water damage in our wall from the floody weather last week. Not sure what that's going to turn into, but hopefully very little.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
*Planned Business and an Update
Keith has been gone since Monday. That was also the day of the big flood here. The snow from the weekend melted, and it rained more than ever in recorded history in one day here, and all of that made life interesting for many in Western WA and OR. We were a little later than we’d planned getting to the airport because of all the road closures. I heard accounts on the news that there was a rainbow the next day ☺ - God reminding everyone that He won’t flood the earth again.
Keith arrived safely. I prayed more than usual, not having much peace about this trip. Now I’m feeling pretty good. He’s been able to text me once a day so far, and I did get a call that first day to say he’d made it. I don’t really know how it’s going. I miss talking to him and I’m realizing he does quite a bit around the house. It took me forever to gather and take the trash out yesterday (we live in a condo complex, so the dumpster is a ways away!
I’ve been keeping really busy in his absence. I always plan all sorts of projects to keep me busy when he’s gone, and this week is no exception. I actually feel pretty stressed out from it all. But, it is helping the time go by more quickly.
In adoption news, I finally talked to the agency today, and soon after received a letter regarding the summit from last week. It sounds like it was positive. But, they still said that Vietnam could close at any time. It is not probable, but always possible. That’s not fun to hear. One thing I had read, and our agency confirmed is that people on the Vietnam side are getting fed up with the US Embassy butting into their business. It sounds like the US has higher standards of ethicalness (is that a word?) and so they go and search for proof or verification. That lack of trust is offending some Vietnamese officials. All in all, our agency said that it is in both countries’ best interest that the adoptions continue.
Today Koen helped me bake cookies. I usually don’t let him sugary foods, but he enjoyed getting to sample some of his product. I got him a stool from Ikea the other day, and he carries it everywhere. His favorite thing is to put it in front of the sink and have me turn the water on so he can play in it.
Another exciting thing for the day – I was driving through a major intersection today and looked to my left to see several police men holding guns up at a group of men that had been in a truck. There must have been at least 6 guys with their hands behind their heads. Kind of exciting. I wonder what they did!
I’m making matching stockings for us, and got enough material for Liv’s and someday her littler brother or sister’s.
I’ve had my hands full with Koen lately, and it’s actually making me feel at peace with how slowly this adoption is likely to progress. He’s been testing his boundaries a bit more, and all of my punishments don’t even seem to phase him. He used to respond to time outs in his crib – now he begs to get in it when it’s not sleepy time. I need to do some reading to figure out what to do, which is another thing I planned to do while Keith is gone.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
*A Bit Guarded
I am expecting. I am a very white woman in Washington, expecting a little Asian girl in Vietnam. The anticipation of the arrival of our daughter is the same as it was when I was pregnant with our son, but lately it has been waning. With the talk about some corruption in the Vietnamese adoption process, I think I have put up my guard a bit, wondering if the Lord is going to ask us to wait even longer, or look in a different country. I hope not, because I am quite attached to Vietnam right now.
It really has been a rough month for us – nothing major, but we’re discouraged in several realms, so I think my view of everything is cloudy.
On a positive note, we are DTV 2 months as of today. When I write that I think it really has flown by, and I can wait another 10 months or so, but yesterday I would have said we’ve been waiting forever already! This spring I have several friends and a sister-in-law who will be having babies, and I think that is when it will get really hard for me.
Today we had snow that stuck and got deeper and deeper. We decorated the tree this morning before it started snowing. Koen loved “helping” decorate by setting balls on the branches. He is now saying “helper” and joining in with whatever I’m doing – laundry, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, making waffles this morning…..so cute!
Koen being a "helper" putting a string of stars on the tree.
This evening Koen pulled his chair up real close to the tree and named all the ornaments in reach: "heart, cross, car, choo-choo, ding-ding (for bell), dight (light)...Anyway, then right after he went down for his nap this afternoon, it started snowing. I was kind of bummed because I wanted him to see it, but then an hour into his nap he wipe up. I heard him saying “bye-bye” on the monitor and went up to find him trying to shoo the cat out of his room. Oops! So, I removed the distraction, and laid him back down. He responded by screaming for several minutes, and then crying/whining for quite a while. I eventually gave in and got him up. I opened the blinds in his room and pointed out the pretty white falling stuff. He got the biggest smile, and kept saying “no, no” repeatedly (meaning snow).
We let the snow fall another hour or so and then got bundled up and went out to play in the “no.” He couldn’t really do much with his mittens on (thumbs not in the right place of course), but he enjoyed walking around. Papa and I made a snowman, and he enjoyed poking it with a stick. Then the neighbors – two boys and their fun parents- joined us and proceeded to win a snowball fight against Keith. It was fun to watch that, and the 2 youngest boys wander around playing with and eating the snow as the chaotic war took place around them. Koen didn’t want to come in. We were freezing, but apparently he was fine!
First impressions of the snow.
Just before the start of the snowball war - Koen's the blue blob in the back.Keith leaves for Asia in about 36 hours, and I’m in denial about that. He’s been so busy lately I’ve barely seen him, and now I’m not going to see him until December 12th?! It’s probably good to see if I can do this mom thing on my own every now and then, but I’m really pretty dependent on Keith. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing though. The Bible does say the “two shall become one.” And it’s hard to only be a half for 10 days. I might be blogging more as therapy.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Gobble, Gobble
We had a nice Thanksgiving. Keith’s mom came up for several days, and for the first time in too many years to count, my sister was here for the holiday. My 91 year old Grammi also joined us, but was having a little bit of an “off” day. My mom did a great job hosting. We also made a little visit to my Dad’s side of the family at my Grandma’s house (who passed away this summer. It was nice to see that side of the family, as I rarely do.
Koen especially enjoyed olives, a new discovery, and “helping” with the puzzle. He also learned to sign to a song for the first time, and could flap his wings like a turkey to “Gobble, Gobble, Gobble….”
Things are back to normal this week, until Monday when Keith leaves for Asia. He will be 16 hours ahead of our time, and closer to our daughter! That’s kind of a fun way of looking at it!
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day of the summit meeting between Vietnamese Adoption officials, and the US. Please pray that all goes smoothly, and it will improve the state of adoption in the country. Pray for protection over our relationship with Vietnam. Thank you. I’ll let you know when I hear how it went.
Koen "gobble, gobbling"
Helping Mama with the puzzle (note the missing border pieces by his hand - we never found them)
Loving Olives!
Lovin Olives!
Baby Quynh
While reading a blog I follow, I came upon another baby from Vietnam that needs our help. I copied the the latest entry on Quynh below. I am so thankful there are people helping her. Please pray and even consider helping cover some of her astronomical medical costs.
“Here is an update on little Quynh. She has made it to the U.S. on a medical visa! There is currently a herculean effort being made to save her life. I received this email from a friend of a friend. :) Quynh was abandoned when she was about one month old. She has Klippell-Trenaunay Syndrome, a severe vascular condition. Three out of four babies born with her condition do not survive the first month. Many more die by the third month. While in Vietnam, one of the many blood vessels on the surface of her skin broke and bled profusely, saturating a blanket and my jeans 18" in diameter right through to my skin. The clinic was able to stop the bleeding and save her life. With the Lord's care she has defied the odds and is now 4 1/2 months old. She is now in Arkansas and has had an MRI and a laser treatment for the blood vessels on her legs. The MRI showed that all of her organs are functioning. The hospital required $15,000.00 up front to do the MRI and the first laser treatment. The MRI alone was $12,000.00 and the adoption agency is now $5,000.00 in arrears with the hospital. The hospital is requiring more money up front before agreeing to continue her treatment. The couple from the adoption agency that have taken baby Quynh into their care have exhausted their reserves in hopes that more funding will come in to continue her needed treatment. She needs more laser treatments to help prevent the blood vessels on the surface of her skin from bleeding and, even worse, being susceptible to infection. Should she get staph, or some other infection, she could die in a matter of hours without proper treatment at a hospital very experienced with her condition. She also needs surgery to help her to walk when she is able. A condition of granting her visa to come to the states is that she will not become dependant on the government, hence no government assistance is available for her. This is a team effort to take care of this baby who has no parents to help her. Right now the needed players are those with a kind heart of mercy for her and the ability to give financially. Donations for her are tax deductible made out to Ventures For Children International (VCI). She has defied the odds of survival to this point, received the visa to come here, has housing and care, five top specialists to treat her, and her MRI shows a good chance of survival. Now she needs big hearted donors to see her through to a bright future. By the way, she also needs a family to adopt her as their very own. AND ONE OTHER EMAIL FROM ANOTHER FRIEND: My church did something unusual this year. They gave out envelopes of money(in increments of $10-$500) to every adult in their services a couple of weeks ago. We were entrusted with the task to multiply and invest in God's kingdom. We must comply with four rules: we can't spend it on ourselves, we can't give it back to our church, we must distribute the money by Christmas 2007, and we need to e-mail our church to tell them what we did with our "Mina" so that the church body might share in the stories of encouragement, hope, and faithfulness. My church is calling this "The Mina Project". My "Mina" is in the amount of ten dollars. This friend has decided to try to help Quynh with her "Mina" and has asked others to match the $10 Mina amount. If you would like to help with Quynh's medical bills, please consider matching the $10 "Mina" for little Quynh. Please put "Quynh's Mina" in the memo section so that VCI will know what the money is for. Together, I know that we can help this little girl who has no parents to help her. At Thanksgiving, I kept thinking of all my blessings--and the fact that I live in a country that is a paradise compared to most. After I read about the Mina project, I knew that I had to tell you about it--and that you would want to help. Ten dollars is a small enough amount that even children can participate--or a Sunday School class--or a small group of any type. The opportunities are endless! I know that God has brought Quynh to our attention so that we can help this tiny, parentless child to have the care she needs and deserves. Please feel free to forward this to anyone you know and let's see what God will do with our "Mina!" The address for VCI is: Adoption Agency: Ventures for Children Int. Address: 1621 Starr Drive, Fayetteville, Arkansas, 72701 Phone: 479-582-0305 Website: www.venturesforchildren.org E-Mail: info@venturesforchildren.org”
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Thankful
It has been such a busy week – Keith has been up into the early morning hours the last two nights working on the computer, and I’m missing him. This is Keith’s “week off”, but so far it has been more stressful than usual. We haven’t had much time together, which makes me even more hesitant to send him across the globe in a week and a half. Koen has been a bit more demanding and grumpy lately as well. So, we’re all a little on edge.
And, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I haven’t been focusing on what I’m thankful for much, so I decided to sit down and focus a little – and you get to see the fruits of my journaling.
I am thankful for (in no particular order):
Salvation through Jesus Christ
God’s grace to get me through
My husband – loving, faithful, and fun to be with
Koen – he brings me so much joy
My mom – for all the babysitting, care, support, encouragement, and her perseverance
My sister- that she is doing so well, loving her job, and is fun to be around
Keith’s family – for being so supportive of us, and for sharing our love for Koen
My dad – he’s done everything to provide for us
Our care group – so many great friends that we love like family
Our home – it is home and I love to be here
Hope – that though times are hard now, God has given me hope and a future
Adoption – God adopted me as His child, and now we get to adopt a child of our own
Provision – God has always met our financial needs, even when we worry
Harley Bub (Cat) – So soft and sweet, I love his loud purr and early morning snuggles
Luby Cakes (Cat)– A good companion, she keeps me warm at night, and is so good with Koen
Luby and Koen (11 mo here)
Our supporters – so many faithful people giving to our ministry
Holy Spirit- that we aren’t left alone with such a huge task
That I know my Grandma Beth and Father-In-Law Bill are in Heaven with their Savior
Adoption Blogs – I love to read the amazing stories and see the adorable pictures
Health – we have minor issues, but we are going strong
Food – I love to eat
Great Friends – our care group, people in our church, our neighbors, friends in Oregon, school and swimming friends….. we do feel so loved
Our pellet stove – so cold without it!
Coaching – it’s a pleasure to be in the girls’ lives and see them develop
Sunshine – today was beautiful and we got to go to a park and feed the ducks
My Grammi – she’s still ticking and still shows so much love for me at 91
Secret Santas- who surprise us by covering pizza, etc costs for us
Great Bargains – love my children’s consignment shop
My mantle – Keith finally put it up on Sunday. It’s not done, but I’m thankful it’s there
Our president – for his faithful leadership and endurance
Microwaves, dishwashers, vacuums….everything that helps make keeping house easier
Hugs – Koen has really mastered this lately, and I love them
Our church – supportive, welcoming, encouraging, challenging
Email – so easy to keep in touch with loved ones
Our Troops- for the men and women risking their lives to protect us and others
Our Trials – I don’t feel it, but by faith I am thankful, knowing God will use them for good
I hope and pray you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. God bless you.
Monday, November 19, 2007
*Some News, Could be bad?
Below is an email I received today from our agency. They sent it to all their families in the Vietnam program. I'm not sure what to think, but it is leading me to pray more.
Until this meeting takes place and we are able to gather first hand information, we can not predict what will happen with adoptions from Vietnam. Although we remain confident that international adoptions will prevail, we must be flexible and patient during this process. We do know that the new initiative has brought about tension between the U.S. and the Vietnamese government. The Vietnamese officials are concerned about the new initiative's time frame. Currently with the new initiative, the U.S. Embassy is requiring families to wait up to 60 days after filing their I-600 petition. We are hoping to find resolutions to this issue and others at the JCICS Summit meeting.
There have also been speculation regarding the re-signing of an international contract between the U.S. and the Vietnam. The original contract, signed just prior to the re-opening of Vietnamese adoptions, will expire in March of 2008. We have not yet heard when or how this contract will be renegotiated or re-signed. Once again we are hopeful that the meeting on November 28th will shed some light on this issue. We are asking families to understand that any information that does not come directly from the U.S. Embassy or the Vietnamese government is simply speculation. No one will know how the new I-600 initiative or the re-signing of the contract will play out until we are able to see the process through.
Despite all of this, our Vietnam program remains very active! We have had 12 families travel to bring home their children in the month of October and beginning of November. Five of these families are currently in Hanoi waiting for the last stage of the process to be completed before they can return home. We have also had 6 new referrals since the beginning of October, 4 girls and 2 boys.... We are very hopeful that our Vietnam program will continue to be this active in the following months."
I especially don't like the line "we can not predict what will happen with adoptions from Vietnam." I have not control, and reality is that our agency has no control either. In the past, Vietnam and other countries have closed temporarily or permanently to international adoption. In the recent past it has been Nepal and Guatemala. I am so scared that Vietnam will close before we get our little girl. If so, where do we turn? Our agency doesn't have programs elsewhere that we are interested in. We have to trust the Lord is in control of this, and as our agency recommended, be flexible.
I guess I should focus on the good news - that so many families traveled last month, and that there were 6 new referrals!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
*A Time for Everything
"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1
So, is it time for me to prepare for the arrival of my little girl?
As I have searched other blogs, I've found many that post pictures of their future child's stuff - baby supplies, clothing, toys, bedroom, etc. Right now Liv's bedroom is also our sons, and that is how it's going to stay until some day we may be able to afford a bigger place. Koen's room is great though - it is pretty big, and we painted it light green and blue striped before he arrived. I'm not sure how to make it a little more girly, or if I need to for Liv. I'm also not sure what to do about crib bedding. I love the froggy set I have for Koen, and it is lt. green and lt. blue as well. I thought that if I add a splash of pink or something that it would work, but I do want my little girl to have the cute little bed of a little girl. I might have to make something. I was also thinking of perhaps painting over the blue stripes on the wall with brown stripes, and have a green and brown room. Doesn't sound pretty, but I think it would look nice.
The Nursery - Koen and Liv's room, not usually this clean but this is the picture we took for our paperwork (The blue isn't really this bright in normal light).
It's hard to know when we should be physically preparing for her arrival. Realistically the soonest the agency has said we could have her if all moves as predicted would be about a year from now, and the longest it could take (according to their current time-line) is June of 2009, which is very, very far away! However, like I said before, there is a little hope in my heart that God will surprise us and she could come home sooner. And if so, I want to be ready.
There is a great second hand kid's clothing store near me that has a major sale once a month, where I can get lots of things for super cheap. Here's a few of my finds that I hope Liv can use and enjoy:
*People do What?!
Yesterday marked the first day of Keith's one week vacation. It's not really going to feel like a vacation because he has a house project to complete, some Christmas gifts to help me make, a project for work to finish..... but hopefully we can have a day or two together as a family to enjoy.
The other day I surprised myself. When the phone rang I jumped up and immediately hoped it would be our agency. It has officially started - and way too early. We're supposed to have at least another 10 months before they said we could expect a referral. I guess it is good that my heart is hopeful it can happen before that, but it is going to make every time the phone rings a little more disappointing!
I have read some blogs lately of families who got their referrals very quickly. They were decorating the rooms, buying the baby supplies, and getting their shots to travel when they were still finishing up their paperwork. One of these families was with one of the agencies that has been suspected for unethical stuff (poetically put!), but I did find myself getting a little jealous. They only had to wait 3 months, and then one month to travel. That would put us at getting a referral in a few weeks. But, thankfully I know that our agency is doing all they can to do things right, and that is why they are not guaranteeing short wait times.
Another blogger that I have really enjoyed following adopted a child from Vietnam years ago. After having their child home for several years, they discovered that the person who arranged their adoption was arrested for bad adoption stuff (poetic again). She said it was heartbreaking to even have the thought that the birth mother had not wanted to give her child up. And that will be so devastating for her child when they learn about it as they grow up.
Apparently it is also a practice in some areas of Vietnam, with the help of some bad people, to refer a family a healthy child, and then switch the healthy baby for an unhealthy baby when the family arrives to pick them up. Medical records from Vietnam will show the baby is Hep B negative for example, and then when the baby comes home, gets very sick, and is tested again, the baby is positive. This can be bad testing in Vietnam, but it has happened many times, and in a few cases, the a child of a different gender is even switched out for the healthy one!!!
Please pray that the situation will improve in Vietnam. I know officials are working to clean things up, and more reorganization is taking place currently to have more people monitoring individual provinces.
You in the adoption world that are more educated in these things than me, please don't use me as a source. I have not done a lot of research, but have read several blogs that have addressed these issues. I want to share what I am learning with family and friends.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Fears
It’s been awhile since I checked in here, mostly because I have no adoption news. The wait has been fine so far – although every now and then I get a wave of anxiety over it. I’m mostly keeping busy, and that should help the next year or so go by quicker.
Last weekend I left Keith and Koen for 3 days to go to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado to learn coaching techniques for synchronized swimming. The club I coach for sent me, and I had a good time learning so much. I wish I had more time to devote to coaching. I did have a hard time being away from my guys that long though. Keith said that Koen was clingy and whiny some of the time, but if he kept him busy, or out of the house it was better. Koen also got to spend some good time with his Grammi while I was gone.
Koen enjoying a motorcycle ride
In about 3 weeks Keith is going to a large country in Asia (not Vietnam) for 10 days. I’m finding I have quite a bit of anxiety over him being gone that long. I think the most we’ve been apart since getting married is 3-4 days, and I don’t like being a single mom. I get enough of a taste of not having his help during the days! Please pray that God would provide the finances we need for Keith’s trip, and that He would give me peace over it all. Thanks.
As I’ve been following some blogs lately, I have learned of some adoption issues out of two provinces in Vietnam. Our agency is not involved in these provinces, but I have learned that a few agencies out of these provinces are being reviewed for possible unethical adoptions. There are higher rates of children being given up for adoption there, implying that someone may be paying the Vietnamese birth families to give up their children, and adoptions are moving along very, very quickly – about 1/4th the time as elsewhere. Vietnam has temporarily closed these provinces the get it cleaned up. Even though we have no relation to these agencies or provinces, every adoption in Vietnam affects ours, and the fear is that Vietnam may have to close or slow down adoptions as a whole. This is probably not likely, but it is still a fear. I’m not real educated on what’s happening, and I don’t want to perpetuate rumors, but I must admit that the rumors are raising my fear level.
Keep praying for baby Sinh – I have no new info on her.
Thanks and God bless.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween
Koen is a frog for Halloween. He hasn't had the best start to his holiday, having his 18 month doctor's appointment with vaccinations included this morning. He's been pretty whiny since. I'm sure his arms are a little sore.
Friday morning I get to go the Colorado Springs for a synchronized swimming coaches college at the Olympic Training Center. I did competitive synchronized swimming for years when I was younger, and now coach a few hours a week for the same club I swam for. It should be a fun experience, but I’m a little sad I have to leave Keith and Koen behind.
Decorating a pumpkin at our Care Group's Halloween party.
All the Care Group kids (minus the littlest one).
Loving playing in the leaves. My little pumpkin!
Keeping Distracted
We’ve had a busy few weeks, but that is good because it distracts me from the wait. Last weekend we went down to Salem to visit with Keith’s family. His sister and our nephew came to town, so we wanted to get the two little ones together.
Koen (left in all pics) and his cousin (21 mo)
I’m slowly starting to collect some baby girl clothes. My mother-in-law bought some things for Liv too. It’s fun, and feels like more of a reality.
I’m getting asked “what’s new with the adoption?” often, and wish I had more to say. We applied for another grant, but that is about it. Our agency’s Vietnam program coordinator is in Vietnam right now, and you can follow her blog she’s writing while there if you’d like at Amy's Trip to Vietnam.
More exciting though, is that several bloggers I’ve been following in are Vietnam getting their children right now! Two are from our agency and the third is linked on the left (From Cancer to Sara). It has been fun to follow their journey with so many ups and downs. The adoption laws in Vietnam just changed regarding a form you file once in Vietnam to get the government’s approval that the child is indeed an orphan so you can take them out of the country. In the past you haven’t been able to file this form until you are in Vietnam, but now they are requiring it be filed soon after you get the referral. This way, once they agree that the child is an orphan (which they have 60 days to do), you will be approved for travel. I’m not sure if this means travel wait times will decrease or not, but it is supposed to shorten the time required in country. It is also supposed to decrease corruption in the adoption system. The law takes effect in early November, so it disrupted those who are traveling now. There was a little uncertainty in how it would work, so families were being rushed to travel a week or so ahead of time to still be under the old law. It should all be figured out soon though.
Our agency’s blog noted that 15 families traveled to Vietnam in October to get their children. That is a lot! Most of those probably weren’t on the waiting list anymore and had already gotten their referrals when we got on the waiting list, but that’s still a good sign.
No new news on Baby Sinh. Keep praying! Thanks and God bless.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Baby Sinh
After our first meeting with our agency, I sent an email to the director to thank him for his time. He sent a reply and asked for prayers for a little baby girl named Sinh that was being flown to Singapore (if I remember correctly) for heart surgery (she has a large hole in her enlarged heart). I let him know I would pray. This was back in May.
Last month I found another blogger going through our agency that was more familiar with Sinh's story, and reminded me to pray. Apparently back in May, they were trying to find an American doctor who would perform the risky surgery. After several months, they could not. And during this time her heart was deteriorating. She would die without the surgery, and she would also likely die with it. I contacted my agency to find out more info, and they told me that because no American doctors would do the surgery, she would get it in Vietnam.
Just today I read on the other person's blog that the Vietnamese doctors also decided that she wouldn't make it through the surgery. She said that Baby Sinh (her name means "life") is not going to make it. "She is left to live out her remaining days with good care."
Baby Sinh in the Singapore hospital. She is often too tired to even smile. 
Baby Sinh
As I read I was suprised at how sad I felt, hopeless. It is heartbreaking that this little girl never knew the love of a mother. Thankfully she does have a nanny or two that spends consistent time with her, and I'm sure love her, and our agency has done their best to help save her. But, it's sad when all their work, the love of the nannies, and the prayer of many don't bring her a better life.
As far as I know, Sinh is still alive, and it's not too late to pray. Maybe God does have a miracle in store. If you read this, please pray a quick prayer for Sinh's healing - on earth or in Heaven. Thanks.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
It's Fall
Yes, it is fall, and it is getting cold and wet around here!
This weekend we had our Campus Crusade fall retreat with students from around our area. Koen and I decided last minute to go along, as the retreat was only one night away instead of the usual two. So, Friday morning we took a ferry (Koen’s first ferry ride – he kept saying “boat, boat!”) across the Sound to Poulsbo area. As soon as we got there we set up our room and put Koen down in his play pen in the big closet. Thankfully, he fell asleep for a little bit, while Keith set up the meeting room. Several hours later the rest of our staff team arrived, and then the students.
The retreat went well. Koen and I didn’t get to listen to any of the speaker (due to sleep time, or Koen’s unwillingness to stay put and quiet – surprise, surprise!). But, we did get to sit in during some of the worship, and join the group for meals and free time. Many of the students took to Koen and would pass him around. He had a good time playing in the dirt, swinging, and running around in the fields. He’s so social – he has a good time no matter who he’s with.
The students were great. I was amazed at the maturity of many of them, and there were actually a lot of guys! Usually there are way more females compared to males involved in the ministry, but this year seems much more balanced.
Monday was Keith’s day off so we went to a pumpkin patch near by. Koen got to pick out a little pumpkin (he insists they’re called “apple”s) but most of the large ones were rotting already. We also went in a corn maze and were lost in it just long enough that Koen was getting antsy and hard to hold. It was all of our first corn maze experience, and wasn’t quite as fun as we had hoped. Here are some pictures from our adventures:
Family Photo at the Farm (missing one very important little girl)
Koen getting licked by his mooing friend
It's just a little too heavy!
On Papa's shoulders in the corn maze.
Koen's little "apple"
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
*Dreams
The last week I have found myself anxiously awaiting our agency's Vietnam program newsletter that they send out monthly. In the past several months, it just shows up in my email inbox unexpectedly and I enjoy reading it. But now that we are officially waiting, I will probably cling to these more and more. The main reason I am interested now is because it usually updates the expected wait time, and communicates the number of families that received referrals last month, and how many picked up their children.
Last week after hearing from some other waiting families what number they are on the waiting list, I hastily sent an email off to our caseworker to see about how many total are waiting in our program (knowing that since we just got on the list, we are likely last). She replied that there are 39 families waiting, most of them for girls. So, we are number 39. That's a lot, but I'm hoping it is comparable to other agencies who have families who were at about the same point as us through the paperwork, around 15th or 20th. Our agency works with more orphanages than most, so maybe they get more referrals, and we'll move along at a comparable rate? Not sure though. 39th isn't real encouraging, but I'm glad I know now and can prepare myself for quite a journey ahead.
On a different note, I am really enjoying my women's Bible study through church right now. The book we are going through is "You Matter More Than You Think" by Dr. Leslie Parrott. I highly recommend this book. The chapter I just read is about your dreams, and no matter how old you are, we must recognize and follow our dreams. This is a way that God often guides us - through our passions, desires and dreams. One quotation she shared was from Langston Hughes: "Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." Leslie says "it is in pursuing our dreams that we move from becoming a half - a person who is waiting in the wings for something, - to a whole." When pursuing our dreams, we become who God created us to be. "The eventual pain that results from not dreaming - for fear of being disappointed by an unrealized dream - will always eclipse the pain of a dream that never comes true."
I think in the last few years I have settled into a comfortable life, and given up some of the dreams I had while in college. In the last year, however, God has made me realize a passion that I've always had, and got me thinking about what to do with it. I think my dream is to love orphans. I know I will do that through adopting our daughter, but I envision going to orphans overseas and serving, loving, touching, providing, living with them. But, I am also starting to envision becoming foster parents here and doing the same with the orphans (and children with parents who can't care for them) in our own city. I'm not sure what God has planned specifically, but I hope and pray I am faithful to follow this dream of somehow helping more orphans. I love them already!
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." -Romans 15:13
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
My Cowboys
Yesterday we received a big packet in the mail from our agency. It included a copy of our dossier (paperwork), and letter of congrats in completing it, a notice of the wait and what we are to do during it, and a pamphlet with articles about adopting and bonding with our new child. It feels more official now. Our agency also received our payment.
Lots o' paperwork - complete!
In the letter it said to expect to wait 9-11 months for a referral, but before we were told 10-13. It will likely change a little as we wait, and could possibly be even longer (my worst fear!). It is out of our agency’s control. I’ve read that some agencies can offer you quicker timelines, but sometimes what is happening is quite unethical – people offering more money in order to get younger babies, or get them more quickly. When adoption closed in Vietnam a while back it was in effort to clean up the system. It is better now, with more governmental control, but apparently the unethical still happens. Our agency pledges to do nothing unethical or illegal, and other adoptive parents who have gone through FIA have said the same. It’s reassuring to hear.
I expect to suffer some during this wait, but hope I can learn to trust the Lord and be content and really just enjoy having one child for now.
Here are a few very applicable verses the Lord gave me during my church women’s Bible study:
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” –II Corinthians 4:17
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, you endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when you endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” –James 1:2-4
“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – I Thessalonians 5:18
Koen discovered the little helicopter things that fall from maple trees today. He had fun holding them above his head and dropping them. It worked better though when he watch mommy or papa throw them way up high, and sometimes the wind would catch them and they’d fly for a long time.
Here are some pictures from our church Fall Festival last weekend:
Our little cowboy got to ride a pony.
Our big cowboy got to ride a mechanical bull for a few short seconds.
He loved corn on the cob - his first try and he ate all the corn off!
