Longing

I feel tortured right now because we left Koen with family for two days while we started our conference an hour away. Keith drove to pick him up this morning while I was in a meeting, and I expected them to be in our hotel room when I finished. I was so excited, and now so disappointed. To top it off, I couldn't even get a hold of Keith on his cell to know where they were. I got my jacket on to go down to the lobby in hopes they were there, but my mother-in-law called and apparently Keith had yet to meet her, meaning, he is still pretty far away. I am bummed.

I wonder if this is what it will feel like when we get our referral. I want so badly to see and hold Koen, but I am stuck in this hotel room and can't get to him. It's totally going to stink!!!

So, on a happier note, Christmas was enjoyable. We got totally spoiled, a little too spoiled perhaps. Koen unwrapped his presents, along with some other people's gifts. He made it through two church services - not perfectly, but happily enough. We even had snow on Christmas day. The drive south on Christmas day was a little rough because of the snow, and it made for a very long day, but we survived. I'm not sure how many double Christmases we can handle in the future. We want so badly to just stay at home and relax and start a few of our own traditions. We could invite our familys, but we have so little space. So, we will likely; continue in what we've done, and end up totally exhausted after 3 days.

As we drove on Christmas day we read chapter two from Philip Yancy's The Jesus I Never Knew. I discovered this eye-opening chapter about the birth of Christ a few years ago and have made it my goal to read it on or before Christmas every year. What Yancy writes is good at giving some perspective to the real Christmas in the midst of a world that makes it about materialism, santa, a dream world.... The reality is that the two realms of existence : the eternal Heaven where God is, and earth where man is collided at this one point in time, and made a way for the salvation of man. Mary was a virgin who experienced the shame of a growing belly while being unwed - something that women of her time were stoned for!

Anyway, it's good to read, and really made us talk all the more about trying to avoid the Christmas the world offers next year, with santa, and reindeer, and all of the things that satan has used to distract us from Jesus. I'm not exactly sure how we'll do that, and I don't want to deprive our children of certain joys, but there is a balanced that we hope to find. IF you are reading this and totally understand, I would love to hear your ideas on some family traditions you have to focus on Christ during Christmas.

So, my parents' birthdays are both a few days before Christmas and while we were celebrating, Koen started saying "Happy Doo!" We think he is trying to say happy birthday, as he knew who he was supposed to say it to. I was kind of fun to then tell that we were celebrating the birth of baby Jesus too. He was saying "Happy Doo" on Christmas too. He's fun.

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary. Like every year, our special day is in the middle of this annual conference we are required to attend. So, the most we usually do is go out to dinner, and maybe a movie. But, our favorite thing is to get away. Two days before Christmas Keith surprised me with an Amazing Race style get away to a lake house about 1.5 hours away from home. We had a very nice stay, enjoying the quiet, the view, games (especially xbox's Dance Dance Revolution!) and time together without kids. Thanks Keith and happy anniversary!

*Christmas for Liv

Liv got spoiled this Christmas too. Below is a picture of a blanket my mom (Grammi) knitted for her granddaughter, and aunt Laurie (a dog lover) got this little 24 month size outfit for her. So fun! She definitely was not forgotten this Christmas. I believe she is in a womb right now - very much alive, and prayerfully, thriving.Koen (20 months) and his cousin Seth (almost 2) had fun together at Gramma's house in Oregon. Here they are enjoying a bath together.

Lots of Gifts

We were so totally spoiled this Christmas. Here are some pictures from our four Christmas celebrations:

Helping wrap presents

Koen with Great- Grammi

Christmas Eve at Grammi's

Christmas Day morning at home.

Christmas Day Evening at Gramma's in Oregon
Koen and his cousin Seth

Me getting more than I deserve: a very nice new sewing machine!

Keith getting more than he deserves: his sister's professional digital camera!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17

Merry Christmas

This is our 2007 Christmas Card. Merry Christmas Everyone!

Christmas Happenings

Koen is having fun playing in the sink right now. He loves his step-stools and carries them all over the house. I’m kind of regretting offering him this freedom.

Once again we have gotten caught up in the busyness of the season. I really want to slow down and spend a good amount of time pondering the amazing Gift that God sent to earth about 2000 years ago. This is the time of year that I battle materialism more than any other time. Money has been super tight, but I love to give. We’ve had to cut back in gifts, and get a little creative, which isn’t my forte. And, creativity takes time. I feel like Koen needs more and more of my time. By the time he goes to bed I am exhausted, but can actually get a few things done. Then I’m up late being productive and don’t get enough sleep! I’ve got some kind of nasty cold – the kind that makes you light-headed and so weary. Koen’s a little stuffed up, but nothing major. Keith is still sleeping a little weird from his trip.

Our Christmas plans include a candle light service at my Mom’s church Sunday evening, then celebrating with my family at my Mom’s on Christmas Eve. That evening we will attend Keith and I’s church for another candlelight service. We usually open gifts late into the night, so we will likely sleep in on the 25th. We’ll have a few quiet hours to ourselves Christmas morning. In the afternoon we will go to my aunt’s house to see my dad’s side of the family for an hour or so, and then head south to be with Keith’s family in the evening. I hope that by this time next year we will have more family traditions of our own – to really take the focus off of receiving, and onto Jesus as Koen becomes more aware.

On the 27th, we have our annual Campus Crusade winter conference in Portland where about 700 students from around the northwest will come to learn and fellowship. Keith has a big role in the conference, being in charge of housing for all the students and staff. He will be busy. The 29th is our 6th wedding anniversary. We don’t usually get to do anything real big because of the conference, but we’ll see. We’ll leave Koen with my mother-in-law 2-3 nights, and then have him join us at the conference through the 1st, when we will finally head home and hope to regain some normality.

I do love Christmas, and am so thankful for God sending His only Son to live as a human, be our perfect example, and then go to the cross to save us from our sins. Thank you Lord for salvation, a personal and loving relationship with you, and for so many blessings in our lives. I pray you focus on His many blessings to you this Christmas.Koen in his outfit Papa brought back from Asia

He's Back

Hallelujah, Keith is home! I am so thankful the Lord kept him safe and healthy, and helped Koen and I get through our time without him. He had a good trip and brought home some cute clothes for Koen and Liv. Keith saw a lot while he was there, but didn't get to visit an orphanage like he had hoped. Apparently the government in this country seemingly slowing down or removing non-governmental organizations that provide foreign aid to their orphanages. Sad.

It's really good to have him home. I just wish there could be more down time with him though. He's got all kinds of things to do, and we just discovered some water damage in our wall from the floody weather last week. Not sure what that's going to turn into, but hopefully very little.

*Planned Business and an Update

Keith has been gone since Monday. That was also the day of the big flood here. The snow from the weekend melted, and it rained more than ever in recorded history in one day here, and all of that made life interesting for many in Western WA and OR. We were a little later than we’d planned getting to the airport because of all the road closures. I heard accounts on the news that there was a rainbow the next day ☺ - God reminding everyone that He won’t flood the earth again.

Keith arrived safely. I prayed more than usual, not having much peace about this trip. Now I’m feeling pretty good. He’s been able to text me once a day so far, and I did get a call that first day to say he’d made it. I don’t really know how it’s going. I miss talking to him and I’m realizing he does quite a bit around the house. It took me forever to gather and take the trash out yesterday (we live in a condo complex, so the dumpster is a ways away!

I’ve been keeping really busy in his absence. I always plan all sorts of projects to keep me busy when he’s gone, and this week is no exception. I actually feel pretty stressed out from it all. But, it is helping the time go by more quickly.

In adoption news, I finally talked to the agency today, and soon after received a letter regarding the summit from last week. It sounds like it was positive. But, they still said that Vietnam could close at any time. It is not probable, but always possible. That’s not fun to hear. One thing I had read, and our agency confirmed is that people on the Vietnam side are getting fed up with the US Embassy butting into their business. It sounds like the US has higher standards of ethicalness (is that a word?) and so they go and search for proof or verification. That lack of trust is offending some Vietnamese officials. All in all, our agency said that it is in both countries’ best interest that the adoptions continue.

Today Koen helped me bake cookies. I usually don’t let him sugary foods, but he enjoyed getting to sample some of his product. I got him a stool from Ikea the other day, and he carries it everywhere. His favorite thing is to put it in front of the sink and have me turn the water on so he can play in it.

Another exciting thing for the day – I was driving through a major intersection today and looked to my left to see several police men holding guns up at a group of men that had been in a truck. There must have been at least 6 guys with their hands behind their heads. Kind of exciting. I wonder what they did!

I’m making matching stockings for us, and got enough material for Liv’s and someday her littler brother or sister’s.

I’ve had my hands full with Koen lately, and it’s actually making me feel at peace with how slowly this adoption is likely to progress. He’s been testing his boundaries a bit more, and all of my punishments don’t even seem to phase him. He used to respond to time outs in his crib – now he begs to get in it when it’s not sleepy time. I need to do some reading to figure out what to do, which is another thing I planned to do while Keith is gone.

*A Bit Guarded

I am expecting. I am a very white woman in Washington, expecting a little Asian girl in Vietnam. The anticipation of the arrival of our daughter is the same as it was when I was pregnant with our son, but lately it has been waning. With the talk about some corruption in the Vietnamese adoption process, I think I have put up my guard a bit, wondering if the Lord is going to ask us to wait even longer, or look in a different country. I hope not, because I am quite attached to Vietnam right now.

It really has been a rough month for us – nothing major, but we’re discouraged in several realms, so I think my view of everything is cloudy.

On a positive note, we are DTV 2 months as of today. When I write that I think it really has flown by, and I can wait another 10 months or so, but yesterday I would have said we’ve been waiting forever already! This spring I have several friends and a sister-in-law who will be having babies, and I think that is when it will get really hard for me.

Today we had snow that stuck and got deeper and deeper. We decorated the tree this morning before it started snowing. Koen loved “helping” decorate by setting balls on the branches. He is now saying “helper” and joining in with whatever I’m doing – laundry, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, making waffles this morning…..so cute!

Koen being a "helper" putting a string of stars on the tree.This evening Koen pulled his chair up real close to the tree and named all the ornaments in reach: "heart, cross, car, choo-choo, ding-ding (for bell), dight (light)...

Anyway, then right after he went down for his nap this afternoon, it started snowing. I was kind of bummed because I wanted him to see it, but then an hour into his nap he wipe up. I heard him saying “bye-bye” on the monitor and went up to find him trying to shoo the cat out of his room. Oops! So, I removed the distraction, and laid him back down. He responded by screaming for several minutes, and then crying/whining for quite a while. I eventually gave in and got him up. I opened the blinds in his room and pointed out the pretty white falling stuff. He got the biggest smile, and kept saying “no, no” repeatedly (meaning snow).

We let the snow fall another hour or so and then got bundled up and went out to play in the “no.” He couldn’t really do much with his mittens on (thumbs not in the right place of course), but he enjoyed walking around. Papa and I made a snowman, and he enjoyed poking it with a stick. Then the neighbors – two boys and their fun parents- joined us and proceeded to win a snowball fight against Keith. It was fun to watch that, and the 2 youngest boys wander around playing with and eating the snow as the chaotic war took place around them. Koen didn’t want to come in. We were freezing, but apparently he was fine!

First impressions of the snow.Just before the start of the snowball war - Koen's the blue blob in the back.

Our other adventure for the day wasn’t so fun. Keith pulled the truck we’re borrowing up to the side of our home to load some stuff, got out to check if he was close enough, and the door closed behind him, locking him out while the truck was running! Of course we only have one set of keys, and the other is in Oregon! Our opinion is that automatic locking doors while the car ignition is on is not such a brilliant idea! Anyway, after the truck sat beside our place running for about two hours while snow fell on it, the locksmith arrived. It’s hard to spend $135 on something so stupid, especially right before Christmas! Oh well – I guess it was in God’s plan for the day.

Keith leaves for Asia in about 36 hours, and I’m in denial about that. He’s been so busy lately I’ve barely seen him, and now I’m not going to see him until December 12th?! It’s probably good to see if I can do this mom thing on my own every now and then, but I’m really pretty dependent on Keith. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing though. The Bible does say the “two shall become one.” And it’s hard to only be a half for 10 days. I might be blogging more as therapy.