*Faith Family Picnic

Today was our agency's annual "Faith Family Picnic" at Point Defiance Park in Tacoma. This was our first time attending, of course, and we felt a little out of place without our little Asian daughter, but it was fun and amazing to see all the beautiful families. Our agency adopts from China, Vietnam, Nepal, Mexico and Panama, but the majority of the children at the picnic were from China and Vietnam. One lady asked us where Koen was from. We weren't real sure how to answer that - Seattle? My womb? :) There were many families that had a biological child or two and then an adopted child or two.

We got to meet our adoption case worker face to face for the first time. She started working for our agency only a couple months ago. We also got to meet another family who is at the same point as us in the process. We met one family that adopted a little girl from Nepal a year or so ago - their first. Another family that are former missionaries to Mongolia and Nepal adopted a 2 1/2 year old girl from China with minor special needs (a hand deformity), even though they've already raised 3 children to adulthood.

We also got to meet our agency's Vietnamese official, Henry, who comes every year for the picnic. He suggested to us that it is best to adopt from the northern provinces in Vietnam, as they are better cared for, and less likely to have HIV or Hepatitis. This way we are less likely to get "mad at Vietnam" because our child will be healthy. It made me sad to think that there probably have been people who have been disappointed in the child they've received. He probably also feels a sense of pride in his country and wants people to see the best of Vietnam. Henry saying this makes me think that most families are probably trying to adopt from the north, so we need to head south, and help a child who may be less healthy and less cared for. We'll see. He also said that the majority of Vietnamese adoptions are to France and Italy and that if we didn't say yes immediately to our referral, that someone else will adopt her quickly.

We also learned that there are currently 75 families who are adopting from Vietnam through Faith (our agency), and 13 are in our stage (paperwork). That's a lot of waiting families that are in line ahead of us! The wait may be long. Nepal is currently having some governmental issues that caused them to temporarily shut down adoptions. Several families have switched from Nepal to Vietnam, and I know many have switched from China to Vietnam too because China's wait time is so long.

Here are some pictures from the picnic:

This is our agency's founder and director, John




Koen and I with our case worker, Amy

Fun at the Park

Today Koen got to play with his play group buddies from our church at the park. Here's some pictures of his fun:

Aren't they cute! (Koen is in orange in the middle)

*A Timeframe and A Dilemna

Yesterday we got a packet in the mail from the U.S. Immigration Service, and we got our hopes up that it was the approval we're waiting for - several weeks early. We were disappointed to find that it was only a letter notifying us that they received the form we submitted, and included legal info on adoption into the US. But for a few minutes before the envelope was unsealed, we were praising God for a miracle. Oh well, we will learn to praise Him in the wait.

I talked to our agency today, and our case worker says the wait for the Immigration Approval should only be about 4 weeks, instead of the 7-10 we were expecting. I guess that's good news, but what if it takes 7 weeks, and now I'm expecting 4?

Within the next few weeks of waiting for that approval, we have a "Letter of Intent to Adopt" to write, and a few pictures to send in, and we're finished with our paperwork. Then, when the approval form is sent to our agency, they pack up our whole dossier (portfolio of adoption paperwork) and send it to the Vietnamese Embassy in San Diego to get it authenticated and translated. She said this part only takes about 7-10 days (I thought more like a month!). The embassy sends it back to our agency, and they send it off to their partners in Vietnam. The day they mail it to Vietnam is the first day of our official "WAIT." She said to expect 10-12 months from that day. Yuck! So, that puts us on a time frame of getting a referral next August to October, and then traveling hopefully by Christmas 2008 to get our daughter. We were hoping for spring.

I also learned that to adopt from the 3 provinces in the north that our agency is partnered with, we need to pay an extra $3,000 than from the south. The advantages of adopting from the north, are that the quality of care and health of the children are generally better, and the wait time between referral and travel to get our child is shorter by several months (a good reason in itself). This will be a hard thing for us to decide. We don't have money for any of this really, but are trusting God to provide. Do we trust Him to provide even more just to reduce our torture in the wait, or do we trust Him to carry us through the wait and care for our child in the south? We need to pray He guides us to the area that our daughter is living in. I guess He lead us to Vietnam, so he can lead us to a more specific part of Vietnam.

What a Difference 2 Years Makes!

2 years ago today we found out we were going to be parents. A few months later we found out the Lord was entrusting to us a son, and a few months later our little boy, Koen was born. Life has sure changed in the last two years - for the better, of course. Having a child makes life more abundant- the joys more joyful, and the sorrows more sorrowful.

We had a great time camping. Nighttime was hardest because Koen didn't want to sleep, so after an hour of listening to him first cry and then just babble in the tent, we brought him back out to enjoy the campfire and stars. We all went to bed around 10, but Keith and I were up most the night making sure Koen was warm enough. At 3 am we got Koen up to make sure he was alive. He was sleeping so hard after a long day of playing, and it kind of scared us. Of course, he was fine, and now we laugh, but it was a long night.

Here's some pictures of our fun time:

*What Am I Waiting For?

I just found myself very disappointed after checking my email to find nothing from our agency. This is sad really, because we're not even expecting an email from them - I just want one. I want to feel like we're making progress. We're in for a long road ahead!

Keith said he had another dream that we adopted twins this morning. He was doing so well, getting his mind set on one..... God's going to have to keep working on our hearts in this area - in regard to one or two kids, and provide double the money if He has twins planned for us.

We're off on an adventure today - our first camping trip with Koen! I'll let you know how it goes!

Have a great day!

*What Are We Doing?

I got this news story from another blogger's post. It is about Angelina Jolie's recent adoption of her son, Pax, from Vietnam- from the orphanage's perspective. I feel a little sorry that they share so much of the boy's personal info with the world, but I guess that comes with the family. Here's the website: The Tale of Angelina's New Son

I am beginning to realize that we are setting ourselves up for quite an emotional roller coaster ride. I guess I knew this process wouldn't be easy, but as I read more people's adoption blogs, I know I am only getting a glimpse of the struggles they went through in the wait. One family had already committed to adopt a boy when the orphanage arranged for him to have surgery before he was officially adopted. While it all ended up well, I can't imagine the worry that family felt as their son had to go through surgery on his own. They wanted to be there so badly.

While you wait to travel to get your child, you have no say in their lives - you can't send them gifts, or vitamins, dictate what medical treatment they receive.......be sure they are well cared for. I've also read of families hearing that their assigned child has passed away several months after they've gotten attached to the pictures of their child. How do you grieve for a child that was yours, but you never held? I can't imagine, and I pray we don't have to go through such things.

Other families that started the process several years ago in Vietnam, had to wait a couple years for their child. They received the picture and information, were told they would travel to pick him or her up soon, and then the country closed in order to revamp the whole adoption process. Instead of picking up their child at 9 months, they had to wait until they were 2 and a half! To know who your child is, know they need you, but not be able to go get them!!!

Rarely does an adoption go 100% smoothly and as planned - especially when involving a communist nation.

So, you can pray that the Lord prepares us for the road ahead, and gives us an amazing amount of patience and faith. This process will be completely out of our control very soon.

*America's Most Wanted?

Today we successfully got our fingerprints (we have to wait and see if we are on the "Most Wanted" list). The effort began yesterday, as Keith drove to Tacoma to get our home study because it hadn’t come in the mail in time (we needed it to do our immigration paperwork). Then we dropped Koen off at Grandma’s and headed to Ellensburg. We stayed with friends there and enjoyed a night of card playing and popcorn eating. Then this morning we got up early to be in Yakima at the USCIS (Immigration Service) office when it opened. We thought it opened at 9, but when we got there at 8:50, they were letting people in. Apparently they open at 8am. I’m glad we didn’t get up earlier though because we were number 4 – the 4th people they’d seen that morning. There was no wait! We planned to be there for several hours and brought reading material and everything, and were only there for 25 minutes! The staff it was rare to have so few people waiting.
This is Keith and our social worker at Faith International Adoptions - with pictures of many of the kids that have been adopted through the agency on the wall.

So, why Yakima? Not real sure, but we were told that if we went to Yakima ourselves and turned in our I600-A (an application to the US government to adopt a child) in person, and waited to see if there were any openings to get fingerprinted, that it would save us about 3 weeks out of the 8-10 week process for the approval. For more detailed info, see below.

After we were done, we decided to take advantage of the babysitting and headed to Ihop for breakfast. Then, back to Ellensburg and on home. Koen did well while we were gone. Grandma said that at one point this morning he was saying “mommy” and “papa” and roaming around looking for us, but wasn’t acting sad that he didn’t find us. Not sure if that’s good or bad.

So, now that this step is done, we have about a 7 week wait to get immigration approval, and then our dossier (packet of adoption paperwork, like a portfolio) will be complete (we have 2 more papers to finish up, but can do that now), and will be authenticated, translated, and sent to Vietnam (hopefully in early October?), and we begin the long wait for a referral (the assignment of our child, with picture and medical info).

When we met with our agency’s director several months ago, he was expecting that our wait wouldn’t be very long because they had opened a new orphanage in northern Vietnam that was sending our agency all of their children for adoption, and were moving things along quickly. Our director expected the waiting list at the agency to be very short by the time we joined it. However, we got a newsletter from the agency today that the families that got their children this month waited an average of 10-12 months for a girl, and 7-9 for a boy. I’m assuming that means there is still a pretty good size waiting list, and that ours will likely take at least 10 months from October, but we’ll see. I guess I should expect a long wait, so I might be pleasantly surprised if it’s shorter. Another problem with a 10-12 month wait though, is that it means we will travel in the summer, when the weather is very hot and humid (I’ve read it can feel like 119F!!!) Oh well, God knows!

The USCIS office in Washington state - nothing extravagant.

For those of you who will adopt and go through the Immigration/Fingerprinting someday, here are more details:

At the door there is a guard who will take a form of photo ID (take passports) and your cell phones and anything else you’re carrying and you’ll go through security (like at the airport). You can’t take backpacks in, but a purse was fine. You can’t have a cell phone on in the building (also like flying). The guard gives you a number and there is a waiting room with about 40 chairs and a few toys for kids (best to get babysitting). We only had to wait a minute really and we went to turn in our forms, completed home study, copies of birth and marriage certificates, and paid the bill (prices went up recently). Then we turned in a form to the fingerprinting counter on the other side of the room, waited maybe 5 minutes while Martha Stewart played on a TV screen in the room, and were called back to be printed.

Fingerprinting isn’t messy like it used to be. It’s all digital. The staff will do a print of each thumb, and then the other 4 fingers on your hand together, then each finger individually, rolling them side to side. When done, they give you a receipt (that I’m told is important to keep). It probably took 5 minutes total. I’ve heard that staff at the USCIS offices are usually stern and impersonal, but Washington’s were very nice and friendly. It was really all quite painless! But, again, the staff told us that it is usually much busier, especially in the mornings.

*Why We Are Adopting

So, I think it would be good for me to share a little about how we got to this point. We’ve gotten the question several times: Why are you adopting? Normal question, don’t mind being asked. Actually, I like being asked about the adoption.

Let’s go back to the early 90’s. Many of you probably remember seeing images of Romanian orphans after Ceausescu was executed. I was moved by those images, even when I was only about 11 years old. I also remember seeing several made-for-television movies when I was young (like ones you’d see on Lifetime) about orphans and foster care. And of course, Orphan Annie, who couldn’t love her!
Picture above is of Romanian Orphans

Skipping forward several years to college, I went on a 2 week mission trip to Ukraine and Russia (Moscow area) with Eastern European Outreach. On this trip we visited several orphanages in both countries, and delivered Christmas presents, sang songs, gave testimonies, and just loved on the kids. I wanted to take several home of course, but thought it best to wait until I got married. At this time I was courting a nice guy named Keith, who had also just gone on a short mission trip to Latvia, with YWAM and visited a few orphanages in Riga. Well, several months later, after I graduated from college, Keith asked me to marry him, and then we spent the next 9 months apart – I back in Russia (Ulan Ude this time), and Keith in Slovenia. We were both working with Campus Crusade for Christ. I got to do a couple orphanage visits in Ulan Ude, but also had a little friend, a girl maybe 10ish, who would often find me on the street and beg for some of my food or drink. I would give her what I had on me, and she would drink from my water bottle. Eventually she came to our church, and as I got better with Russian, we conversed a little (very little really). She probably wasn’t an orphan, but I never saw her with family, just friends. I wanted to take her home and love and provide for her.

After those 9 months apart, Keith and I returned to the US, him to stay at his parents in Oregon, and I at my parent’s 4 hours north of him in Washington. We planned a wedding, took premarital counseling and classes (we wanted to be sure we were starting our right!:), and discussed children. We both wanted to adopt internationally at some point.

Skip ahead another 4 years, and we’re ready to have a child. We’re thinking we’re not ready to adopt – we need to practice a little on a biological child before we adopt a one year old and have no idea what happens that first year. I also thought I wanted to go through a pregnancy and childbirth, and see what the product of our funny genes turned out to be like. And, if we didn’t get pregnant, we would just go ahead and adopt.

Well, obviously we did get pregnant, and in April of 2006, had our son Koen. He was a great and easy baby, sleeping through the night at 9 weeks (I have to brag a little). We think he is perfect (except that sinful nature thing), and cute as can be. We would love to have another like Koen, but God has called us to adopt, put the desire in our heart, and we’ve excitedly decided to obey Him.

When we’ve dreamed of our family, we’ve pictured several ethnic groups represented. Adoption is normal to us, and actually really beautiful too. The thought of a child not having someone that wants them – and will always be with them, and will make eye contact and reach for them in a crowded room – that is heart breaking to us.
Picture is of ophans in Vietnam

Adoption may be the noble thing to do – to rescue a child from poverty and abandonment, but you can’t adopt because it is noble, you have to adopt out of desire. We are as excited about this child and process as we were about Koen and pregnancy.

So, that is why we are adopting. Feel free to ask more questions if you’d like.
Picture is of baby orphans in Vietnam

*Home Study Complete!

It’s already August! We sent in almost all of the rest of our dossier paperwork to our agency this morning, after getting two forms notarized again at our bank yesterday. We had to redo the 2 Vietnam applications because my passport number changed when we renewed it. I had such a hard time with those forms – trying to write in all caps, I kept having to redo it. I was probably being a perfectionist, but I don’t want to slow the process down one bit.

Our home study should be complete. We had the social worker say we were approved for 1 or 2 children, in case there are twins available. Maybe we’re crazy, but we don’t want to close doors if the Lord wants them open.

Last night we watched a Travel to Vietnam DVD. I think the traffic will be more stressful than I realize, especially with a baby to care for! In a car or on a bike, or walking – it all looks so dangerous. We also hope we can go before next May when it will get hot and really humid – can feel like it’s up to 119F!! Winter (October-April) is in the 60s and 70s, much more doable. My mom mentioned she may want to go see where her grandchild is from, but I need to show her the video so she knows just how 3rd world it is.

I wonder if my daughter was born today – or maybe yesterday. What will I be doing/have been doing when she is born?

On Wednesday we will go to Yakima to get fingerprinted and turn in our I600A for the immigration paperwork. This should save us about 3 weeks of the wait for immigration approval before we can send our dossier to Vietnam , and start the real wait. Maybe we can send our dossier by the end of September? We’ll see. I can’t get too far ahead of ourselves, or the wait will feel even longer.

I’ve read a few more Vietnam adoption blogs lately. I love reading them. I cried ferociously today, when one family shared about their son battling and dying from cancer just after he turned 3. They just went to pick up their daughter in Vietnam last week and are home now. They have 2 other children as well. I can’t imagine losing a child – especially now that I have one. Oh, I pray the Lord protects my children, and that we don’t have to go through that. Their faith is amazing though.

Today was Koen’s little friend Gabriella’s 2nd birthday party at St Edwards Park (where I coach). They have an amazing play structure there – for little ones, and big ones. Koen swung, and went down slides, did a little climbing and a little playing in the sand. We had a good time, and the other kids did too.
Daddy Keith and Koen