A Family Get Away

We got to get away for a couple days to a lake house owned by a generous couple at our church. My mom and sister joined us too. Koen enjoyed the lake, but his favorite was the hot tub. Thankfully, the hot tub was a little cool - more like a nice hot bath.

We had a "bad parent" moment when we got a little too brave and took Koen out in a kayak. About 10 seconds after Keith pushed off from shore, the kayak with the two of them flipped. I was a little further out in a kayak, watching the whole thing. Koen was only under for about 3 seconds when Keith pushed him up. Thankfully, they were where it was shallow enough to stand. Koen cried a little, but was cheered by a trip to the hot tub.

Koen's other highlight was watching a sea plane take off and land several times. He is convinced it was "air force one."

My highlights were relaxing, kayaking, and playing games.

Koen and Papa watching a sea plane land one evening.

*Nam Dinh

I was relieved to get a response from our agency today, saying that the investigations were done at the two medical clinics in the northern part of Nam Dinh Province. Our agency does not work with, or receive referrals from these two medical clinics. Sounds like most of these children were adopted to France and Italy.

*More Corruption

Today is not such a normal day, or even a good day. Today I feel discouraged. When I wake up thinking about my future children, I know it will be a day that I struggle.

We live in such a corrupt world. Adoption is a beautiful thing, and yet people know how to turn good into evil. I just read here that several people were arrested in Nam Dinh this month for issuing fake birth certificates of some 300 babies there, and then adopting them internationally. This essentially means that children were likely taken from their birth parents, and sold to innocent adoptive families internationally. This is a province where our agency works, and now I am wondering if the babies that were adopted by those on the list before us were these children (see later post - I learned that our agency does not receive referrals from the 2 medical clinics under investigation).

Thankfully, the Vietnamese police have arrested the suspects. This is a good sign that Vietnam is serious about cleaning up the system.

Please pray for Vietnam, pray for the children, and for the families that gave them up. Pray for the families that long for them. Pray that God would guide us on our adoption journey. Thank you.
The orphanage in Nam Dinh where our agency works. Babies sleep in hammocks.

Red Letters

I've been on a reading spree lately. Informing myself of the needs of orphans around the world, particularly in Africa. It is really heartbreaking, and surprising. I knew there were problems there, but I was so ignorant to the extent of them.

The latest book is titled Red Letters, Living a Faith That Bleeds, by Tom Davis. I'm not done with the book yet, but here are some thoughts I wanted to share:

• The total number of children under 15 with HIV as of 2006 is 2.2 million (That's about equal to the population of Houston, or the state of Nevada, or the country of Latvia).
• 28 million children die from curable diseases a year. Not treatable, but curable!! (That's about the population of Texas and Louisiana combined, or the entire population of Iraq- every year!)
  
• 17 million children die from malnutrition and starvation a year. And we in the US have an obesity problem (That's like everyone in the state of Florida dying every year)!
• 33% of the world's population is malnourished.
• 10 million children are involved in the sex industry. (That's about the population of WA and OR combined, or the entire population of Belgium!)
  
• There are 200 million child laborers (That would be about 2/3rds of the US population!).

Jesus said just two days before He hung on the cross:

"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'"
-Matthew 25:31-40

"Acting out of mercy, giving a cup of cold water to a thirsty child, visiting the orphan, giving hope and life to someone suffering from AIDS - these are the things at the top of God's priority list." - Tom Davis

And this stated by Elie Wiesel, an author and survivor of the Holocaust: "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."

Sir Winston Churchill: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Bono: "We are the first generation that can look extreme and stupid poverty in the eye, look across the water to Africa and elsewhere and say this and mean it: we have the cash, we have the drugs, we have the science - but do we have the will? Do we have the will to make poverty history? Some say we can't afford to. I say we can't afford no to."

I am so challenged as I read this. I don't want to be like the rick young ruler in Mark 10 who wanted to inherit eternal life, but when told to store up treasure in heaven, he walked away sad, unwilling to give up his earthly treasure. I want to be God's hands and feet. I've said it before and do mean it. Lord, show me how. Show us all how and help us trust you to give us joy and strength along the way.

Parent's Article

In the August issue of Parent's magazine, I stumbled upon an article on adoption, which featured a family that I have followed a little through their blog. There were 4 families featured, each from different adoption roads: domestic open, domestic semi-open, domestic foster care, and international adoption. The Good family has adopted two boys from Vietnam and then had a biological daughter very recently.

The article was informative and encouraging, with a healthy view of adoption. There were a few errors however. It stated "Be aware: international adoptions have declined during the past three years, and countries can suspend programs at any time (as Vietnam did recently.)" I hate this kind of misinformation. Yes, Vietnam is scheduled to close this September 1st, but it is not closed yet, and there is a lot of effort to keep it open, and a good chance it will reopen if it does close. I must have hope! Don't say Vietnam is closed, until it is closed.

Some people view the Vietnam situation as our self-righteous country messing everything up so that our children will grow up in an orphanage, with no hope of a family. Other's believe that Vietnam has some majorly unethical practices and need to clean things up before adoptions can continue. There are people out there who are trying to discourage international adoption as a whole, saying it is best for the child to stay in their own culture (it probably is, but of higher need is the need of a child to have the love and security of a family- usually not available in their own culture!!). I have to believe that our country has the best interest of American adoptive families, and the Vietnamese children. I have to believe that Vietnam truly cares about their children, and will do what they can to clean up the system and prevent child trafficking.

Just read up on UNICEF. Here's an interesting article. It's so discouraging that they are against international adoption, and have helped close Guatamala, and are now working on closing Haiti. They hope that closing international options will make domestic adoption grow in these countries. Are they seriously stupid? I'm not that informed, but aren't people in these countries struggling to raise their own biological children? How can a family take on another who has lost his parents? Sounds absurd to me. To deny a child a loving family in the US, in hopes that they will be adopted in their home country, when in reality they grow up in an institution, and end up on the streets or in jail?!!! And Angelina Jolie supports UNICEF? That's odd. I want to say more, but I shouldn't.

A Normal Day

It's been a while since my last post, and I was hesitant to blog today because I really have nothing to write about. But, as I thought about it, I decided I would let you know that I have been okay the last few weeks. I haven't been down about our adoption. I have been very, very okay, and for that I am thankful. For those of you who want to adopt some day, you will likely have many okay days like today while you wait. I just want you to know that.

I'll share with you some recent pictures of my little boy enjoying the good summer weather. What ever am I going to do when it starts raining again?

*100- Whoopie

The title is said with a bit of sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell. This is our 100th blog post. A milestone with little to show for it. But, like I said before, this has been quite therapeutic, and helps me feel a little less alone on this journey.

Today Keith and I finally sent in our special needs considerations to our agency. It was hard for us to think about raising a child with severe or minor special needs, and decide what we would want to handle. What we want to handle and what we could handle are probably quite different. This was kind of like deciding on the gender of our child- in the adoption world you have to play God a little more than when you have a child by birth.

Some were easy to think about - cleft palate is common and not life-altering, mild deformities ultimately do not affect the wellbeing of a child, some things like visual impairment, hearing impairment, birthmarks, asthma.... we already have in our family anyway. Are we ready for heart defects, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, HIV....? We are unsure, but will pray about it if a child with those needs come along. We did say a for sure no on a few special needs, which was hard to do.

Lord, change our minds if this is what the child you have for us suffers from.

*2 Moms

A friend sent this poem about the two mothers an adopted child knows:

ADOPTION

Once there were two women
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember
the other you call Mother.
One became your guiding star,
the other became your sun.
The first gave you life
and the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you a need for love
and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of a talent
the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
the other dried your tears.
One gave you up-
it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old questions through the years,
Heredity or Environment-
which are you the product of?
Neither my darling- neither
just two different kinds of love.
-anonymous

I will never fully understand what Liv will feel when she thinks about her birth mother. Will she feel love and appreciation for the opportunity her birth mother gave her? Will she feel confusion? Bitterness? Anger? Will she feel abandoned? Will she have empathy for her birth mother, knowing the hard life she faced, the lack of money to provide for this little one she obviously loved?

Lord, help me create a secure, loving, gracious environment for Liv to grow up in - knowing she is valuable and loved no matter what she does, knowing we will never leave her. Help us have a close relationship where she feel comfortable to share her struggles. Help me know how to respond and encourage.


Liv got some new clothes at last week's 25 cent sale. Even if some of these are too small for her, we can donate them to the orphanage for other children to enjoy.

*An Apology

My mom recently read our blog (she's not very computer literate, so she gets behind), and told me it made her cry. I didn't realize that this blog is giving you an inaccurate picture of how I am feeling much of the time. I often blog on a down day, when I am struggling with this adoption process, and needing the therapy of journaling. So, that means I am recording the hard days and not the neutral days. Please forgive me.

Honestly, most of my days are neutral. I try not to think too much about the current state of Vietnam adoptions. I am trusting the Lord in this process, and know He has what is best in mind for us and our children. I struggle most when doubt God's plan and want to take things into my own hands.

Really I am very thankful that we are in this process. I do have much hope that we will adopt from Vietnam. And, if not, I believe God has a child for us elsewhere.

Ministry Highlight: Every Orphan's Hope

At the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit two months ago, one of the amazing ministries we were introduced to was Every Orphan's Hope. We had the chance to visit with the leaders of the ministry and learn more about what they do. We are really impressed by the vision and model they follow. They are a new ministry, working in Zambia now, with hopes to serve in other countries in the near future.

Zambia is a country in south central Africa with one of the worst orphan situations in the world. Because of the HIV crises, about 50% of the population is under 15 (stat from Children of Hope by Vernon Brewer, World Help, Inc.). Children have lost their parents to AIDS, and are raising their younger siblings. With a population of 11 million, 1 million are orphans. 710,000 of those orphans are orphaned because of AIDS. One in 6 adults in Zambia is HIV positive (these stats are from here). The average life expectancy is under 40 years. Because so many adults are sick and dying, poverty is huge.And yet the church in Zambia is strong. Every Orphan's Hope works with the local church to defend, visit, comfort, encourage, care for, and pray for orphans. The model is this:

1. Camp -Empower the church to arrange a one-week camp for orphans. This gets them outside their walls and working together with other churches. American students come to help with the camps, and each American is put with a couple Zambian Christians with a group of children. Each camp has 200 or more orphans in attendance. The message of the camp is Truth, Faith, Hope and Love all found in Jesus. The children connect with the Zambian believers and thus with the local church. After the camp these relationships are maintained. The American student heads back to the US in charge of finding sponsors for the children in his group that week. The camp committee (Zambian believers) becomes the sponsorship committee for the children from that camp.

2. Sponsorship- The orphans who need are matched with American sponsors that have the finances not available to Zambians. The child is supplied in 5 areas of need: food, schooling, clothing, medical care, and discipleship. Right now EOH sponsors about 400 orphans.

Monthly food provisions through sponsorship

3. My Father's House Orphan Homes- The church selects a Zambian widow as a house mom and places 8 kids in a house constructed by Every Orphan's Hope. The house mom raises 4 girls and 4 boys in an 800 square foot, 3 bedroom home. The church gradually takes over financially supporting these homes. The house moms receive training. These orphan homes provide a loving environment and family the children need. These children are also sent to school, a privalege not available to all Zambian children, as there are fees and supply and uniform requirements. They are also provided with medical care. Since some of these children are HIV positive, they receive the ARVs that keep them alive.

My Father's House in Lusaka, Zambia

Children gather in the kitchen for tea time

4. Orphan Sunday was launched by EOH in 2002. This annual event on the first Sunday in October is a movement in the Christian church to mobilize the body of Christ to serve the orphan. Churches all over Zambia are now involved in this event and are taking charge in helping the orphans.

Here is an interesting fact: 99.8% of orphans in the world will not be adopted! What will happen to all those orphans? The church as a whole has to step up and meet the need. There is no other option. We love how Every Orphan's Hope is mobilizing the Zambian church to take care of the huge need around them.

EOH is praying about starting a ministry in Vietnam too.

It is Good to Be Free!

We've had Keith's mom is town for a few days now, and the 4th was her birthday. She always gets so spoiled on her birthday with fireworks and all in celebration. :) Yesterday we took her to the Museum of Flight in Seattle. Koen enjoyed it for the most part, but wanted to ride more airplanes. They had a few the kids could "ride," but I think he really wanted to fly.

Stepping out of Air Force One - like so many great men before them.

Looking into the bathroom where Nixon, JFK, LBJ, Eisenhower and many of our leaders relieved themselves in the sky.

Then my mom joined us for dinner and we headed to a local fireworks show. Koen was up way past his bedtime, but did really well. It was fun to watch his reaction to the fireworks. He enjoyed the ones that "sparkled" in the distance, but once the show really began and it was close and loud, he got a little more nervous. He didn't cry, just got really solemn and quiet until the last few minutes. Watching him delight in something new like that always brings me so much joy.

Koen discovering the fireworks in the distance

Waiting for the big show - Grammi ( mom), Koen, Keith, and Gramma (Keith's mom)

The other day we took him to get his eyes checked. We didn't suspect anything was wrong, but doctors recommend even infants get checked now because if there is something wrong, it is much easier to correct it before they are school age. I was so impressed at how Koen did in there! He sat in the chair bravely, and put his chin on the little rest, watching the lights. He enjoyed looking at the pictures of different sizes as she determined his strength of vision. It was a moment for me to watch and be so proud of him, in awe of this little boy God has given me to call my son. I love him so much!!!

Today I love him, but I'm not so overwhelmed with that love. :) He is so grumpy from being up late last night. He cried for a 15 minute car ride because I didn't zip up his sweatshirt. I would have if I had known it would upset him so, but once I was driving I couldn't do anything about it. Then he cried when he spilled a little water on the floor, and again when his cake wasn't cut right......Thankfully it is nap time right now. I hope he wakes up happier.

I look forward to the day when Liv becomes an American citizen. She will be blessed to grow up in a free nation!

*Agency Update

We received an update from our agency this week with good and mediocre news. The good news is that they received 5 referrals last month - 4 of them girls. That moves us up several places on the waiting list - so we are probably somewhere between 15 and 18th. I'll call next month to get the exact number. The less positive news is that the wait is now 14-15 months for a girl. We passed the 9 month mark on the 1st. If Vietnam stays open, we could receive a referral by Christmas. That would be such an answer to prayer, but I can't let myself dream too much.

Our director returned from his trip to meet with Vietnamese officials. The update stated: "The meetings went well and all parties seemed to be interested in finding a solution so that a new agreement can be reached by September 1, 2008. All parties are working hard towards this goal. ...... we believe that there is still a possibility for a new agreement to be in place by September 1^st, if not sometime shortly there after." I will cling to that possibility. Keep praying!

We learned from our agency that in order for files received prior to July 1, 2008 to be grandfathered in (those without referrals by 9/1 to still be completed), there must be an interim agreement signed between the two countries permitting this process. Rather than a simple request by the Department of State, a signed agreement will be needed, as required by the provincial Ministry of Justice offices in Vietnam. No decision has been made, as an interim agreement is still being negotiated. Praise the Lord that there is still a possibility and negotiations are in progress!